


Road To Nowhere

by ahopper84



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Male Friendship, POV Male Character, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Recreational Drug Use, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:53:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8030194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahopper84/pseuds/ahopper84
Summary: Zac learns that growing up sucks, but not always in a bad way.





	1. Chapter 1

**October 22, 2001**

_”Happy birthday tooo… yooouuu!”_ Everyone laughed as my two older brothers tried to sing as off-key as possible. Our younger siblings all giggled and applauded, calling for an encore, but our mom settled them down.

“Make a wish and blow out your candles sweetie,” Mom said, shifting our youngest sibling, Zoe, from one knee to the other. I thought about it for a minute, shaking off my initial reaction; I settled on asking the powers-that-be for a car, took a deep breath and blew. I managed to get all the candles out in one shot, which to me always seemed like the best odds. Our family cheered again, and Dad hit the lights back on.

“Dibs on a balloon,” Mackenzie called out, referring to the giant globs of neon frosting stuck to one corner of the cake. Mom shushed him as Dad started slicing up pieces, making sure to give me the first and biggest. 

“Thanks, Dad,” I said as I carried my plate into the living room. A small pile of gifts was waiting on the coffee table; I eyed them as I sat on the couch, trying to guess what they were based on size and shape.

“Open mine first!” Jessica said, plopping down next to me.

“No, mine!” Avery spoke up, taking the seat on my other side.

“Girls,” Dad said, taking his reserved seat in the recliner. “Cake first, then presents.”

I scarfed down my dessert fast enough to please my sisters without choking, then took another look at the pile. There weren’t very many, but that was fine. We were more about quality than quantity in our family, and I’d always been taught to be grateful for what I received. Still, I really hoped there was a set of keys somewhere on the table. 

I opened each present, not exactly surprised but still happy to find some drawing supplies in the mix. There was a moleskine notebook from Jess and a set of colored pencils from Avery, with Zoe’s name tacked on. A new CD from Mackie, and a portable CD player from Ike. Finally, the last present lay on the table - a small rectangular box. I looked up, and both my parents and Tay smiled.

“You’re sixteen now,” Mom said, giving a little sigh. “And it’s time you took a step towards adulthood.”

“We’ve talked it over, and decided that you’re responsible enough to handle this.” Dad smiled and nodded. “And Taylor here has been good enough to help us - and you - take that step.”

I couldn’t contain my grin any longer. I looked up at Taylor, wondering what his part in this was, but he just shrugged and rolled his eyes. Finally, I picked up the box, opened it, and…

“A… name tag?”

“Taylor’s managed to get you a position at the bakery,” Mom explained. “Just part time, of course. Isn’t that wonderful?”

“A… job?” I swallowed back my disappointment. 

“Yes, son, a job,” Dad answered; apparently I hadn’t swallowed it back enough. “It’s about time you started learning the value of a hard day’s work.” His tone suggested this wasn’t a negotiation. _Some present,_ I thought to myself.

“It’ll be fun,” Mom said, using the same tone she took when trying to talk the younger kids into a ‘cleaning game’ or ‘educational field trip’. 

“It’s really not that bad,” Tay finally spoke up. I shot him a look, but he held up his hands and mouthed the word ‘sorry’. So it hadn’t been his idea, either. 

“I get paid, right?” I asked. I heard Ike chuckle behind me, but ignored him.

“That’s what jobs are for,” Dad replied with a grin. “It’ll be your money, to spend - and _budget_ \- as you see fit.”

“So, what do you say?” Mom asked. As if I had a choice in the matter. But I put on a smile and answered anyway.

“When do I start?”

\---------------------------------------------

“Your _real_ present is in the treehouse,” Tay whispered to me as we headed upstairs. “Meet me out there in ten.”

“O...kay.” I let him pass by me and watched him head into his room. I headed to my own room - the one we’d shared until Isaac had moved out last year. When he’d gone off to college Tay took his old room, and after much begging and pleading, I was able to talk our parents into letting me have my own room as well. Part of me missed rooming with Tay, but mostly I was grateful for the privacy.

I put away my gifts and grabbed my hoodie, then headed back downstairs. I paused in the hallway, listening to the rest of my family settling down for the night. Ike had left shortly after presents, with the excuse of an early class the next day. Once I heard my parents’ door close, I made my way outside to the treehouse in our backyard. 

It was pretty impressive; our dad had built it when I was still a toddler, and we’d all helped improve it over the years, reinforcing the floor, adding real walls and a roof. I smiled at the lantern in the window, and made the bird call we’d assigned as the password years ago. Tay’s face appeared briefly, grinning as I climbed the ladder to join him.

“Hey,” he said, sitting on one of the many cushions strewn about the floor. Our small cooler sat beside him, filled with ice and sodas, and a few beers. 

“Planning on getting me drunk?” I asked with a smirk; he just shrugged.

“Figured I’d give you the option. No big deal either way. Hey, I’m sorry about before; mom and dad made me promise not to tell you.”

“Yeah, I figured. Still, would’ve been nice to have some say.” I reached for a soda and cracked it open. 

“Well if you don’t like it at the bakery, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you working somewhere else.” He grabbed a beer for himself, popping the top on the edge of the table. 

“As long as I work somewhere, right?”

“Pretty much,” he chuckled. I watched him take a long sip of his drink, and curiosity struck me. I’d had a sip of champagne at our cousin’s wedding, but that’d been two years ago. He caught me staring, and smirked. “Want a sip?”

“Um… sure, what the hell.” I took the frosty bottle from him and brought it to my lips. The smell wasn’t the greatest, but then it was a beer, not perfume. I took a swig, and to my surprise it wasn’t half bad. There was a definite edge to the taste, but I liked it. I took another sip, and heard Tay chuckle. 

“Not bad, right? Go ahead and keep it, we’ve got plenty.” He grabbed himself a fresh drink, and I sipped mine slowly. I could already feel a heat in my cheeks, and a lightness to my head.

“So this is my present, right? Better than a name tag, anyway.” I laughed, but Tay shook his head, and grabbed a small wooden box I hadn’t noticed on the table.

“You tell anyone about this you’re dead,” he warned, smirking despite the threat. I rolled my eyes at him; he could be such a drama queen sometimes, it was no wonder guys called him a chick behind his back.

He opened the box and pulled out what looked like a cigarette, but I knew better. I knew he smoked, or at least hung out with someone that did. He looked at me, waiting, like he was expecting more of a reaction. I bit my lip and tried not to chuckle.

“Hate to break it to ya, Tay, but if you were hoping to give me my first joint… Skyler beat you to it by a few months.”

“Skyler?” Tay’s brow furrowed as he shook his head. “Damn.”

“Sorry? It was just once, and I didn’t even really get much out of it. He said it was really cheap stuff.” It wasn’t a _total_ lie… The weed Skyler provided for my first time hadn’t been the greatest quality. It’d definitely been more than once, though.

“Oh. Well, this isn’t exactly cheap.” He sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry, Zac; I really wanted this to be, you know, a thing. Had it all planned out and everything.”

“That’s adorable,” I chuckled. “It’s sweet, really. Anyway, like I said, Skyler’s stuff sucked, so… I’m sure this’ll be way better. Especially ‘cuz it’s with you.”

“Quit tryin’ to make me feel better,” he said, but a laugh broke through anyway. 

“Well, are you gonna light it or just hold it?”

“Oh, right. Birthday boy gets first hit, though.” He fished a lighter out of his pocket and handed it and the joint over. I kept my eyes focused on the task at hand, but I could feel his stare as I lit up and inhaled. The smoke was thick, but it tasted a lot nicer than what I’d had before. I held it in for a couple seconds before exhaling.

“Not bad,” Tay said, nodding proudly. I took another hit, a little deeper than before; too deep, judging by the coughs that hit me, the smoke burning the back of my throat.

“Shit,” I cursed between coughs. I heard Tay laughing as he moved over, patting me on the back. As I caught my breath, my head was suddenly swimming.

“You’re fine. Coughing gets you higher anyway.” 

“Is that… so…” I felt like I was wading through a pool, all my movements lagging just a second behind what they should’ve been.

We passed the joint back and forth until it was out. At some point I fell onto my back and lay there, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel Tay’s body heat beside me, hear his breathing. I looked over, and something about his face locked my eyes there. His eyes were half-closed, the red-tinged whites contrasting sharply with the steely blue. His lips curled in an amused smirk, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip. 

I was staring, way longer than I should. The more I realized that, the more I knew I had to look away, but something kept me frozen. I watched his eyes flicker over my face, and I wanted, needed to know what he was thinking. I knew I couldn’t ask without sounding stupid, though, so I forced the words back down before they could escape. 

“How you feeling?” he asked. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it sounded so close it made me almost jump. I thought about how to answer, how to describe the simultaneous out-of-body and hyper-aware sensations. He chuckled, and I wondered how long he’d been waiting for an answer.

“Pretty… good,” I replied finally, and he smiled. His smile was so perfect, it almost hurt to look at it. I’d always known he had a picture-perfect smile that could charm the pants off anyone, but for the first time I felt just how powerful that charm could really be. “Thanks, Tay. This is… cool.”

“I’m glad you liked it. You wanna smoke again, just let me know. I’d feel safer knowing you’ve got a trustworthy connection.”

“Kay.” I closed my eyes for a second, just to blink, but found it so much harder to open them up again. I heard Tay chuckle next to me, felt him shift closer.

“Greened out? You can pass out if you want, it’s okay.”

“Mmkay,” I murmured. I rolled onto my side, vaguely aware of coming into contact with him. My mind conjured memories of curling up together in our tent on family camping trips when I was younger. Was it just the memory, or was he really curling up behind me, an arm draped casually over my shoulders? I decided I didn’t really care, as I gave in to the waves of sleep pulling me under. 

“Happy Birthday, Zac,” I heard him whisper, just before my mind went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**October 23rd, 2001**

“Zac? Zac, come on, wake up. Zac!”

“What?” I snapped, sitting up and throwing the blankets aside. I hated being woken up; everyone in our family knew that, so it was no surprise Tay jumped a foot back.

“You said you were getting up an hour ago. We’re supposed to be at work in twenty minutes.”

“...Oh.” I furrowed my brow; I vaguely remembered him and me exchanging words, but it was a fuzzy memory, the kind that could’ve been a dream or reality. 

“You’re not gonna have time to shower,” he went on, crossing his arms. “Hurry up and get dressed, and meet me downstairs. Five minutes.” With that he left, closing the door behind him. I fell back to the bed, resisting the urge to close my eyes. But my pillows were so soft, my mattress so comfortable, my blankets so warm… 

“Shit,” I cursed, dragging myself out of bed. It took me a couple minutes to find something clean to wear; I grabbed my hoodie and headed downstairs, putting my hair back in a ponytail as I went. Tay was already in the doorway, looking down at his watch.

“We’re gonna be late if we hit traffic,” he sighed as I passed him, heading for his car. 

“What time is it?” I asked mid-yawn; the sky was purple, stars still visible to the west.

“Quarter to six. I usually work six thirty to one, but since it’s your first day we’re going in a little early. You’ll have the same schedule as me for now, until you can work on your own, then it might change. That won’t be for a while though, probably a month or two.”

“Kay. Wake me when we get there.” I leaned my head against the window, determined to get at least a few more minutes sleep. “I said wake me when we get there,” I repeated, in response to Tay shaking my shoulder.

“We _are_ there.” C’mon.”

I looked up and sure enough, we were across town in the parking lot of Fritz’s Bakery, where Tay, and now I, worked. I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes as I stumbled out of the car and followed Tay. I watched as he unlocked the door, locking it again behind us once we were inside.

“Do I get a key, too?” I asked, smirking.

“Maybe, eventually. Okay, let me give you the grand tour.”

He showed me where everything was, without going into too much detail. Even then, I knew I’d probably forget half of it by the end of the day. I didn’t know how such a small store could have so many nooks and crannies, each one with a laundry list of contents.

“So what am I supposed to actually _do_ around here?” I asked finally, leaning against the counter.

“Just generally help out, for now. Wiping down the tables, washing dishes, moving stock around. We can see about teaching you the register, if you think you can handle dealing with customers. Eventually we might have you helping out with some of the baking, but that won’t be for a while.”

“Who’s this ‘we’? Or did you decide to start talking in third person?”

“I’m not the only one that works here, Zac,” he replied with a laugh. “In fact… ah, there she is,” he said at the sound of the front door opening. A girl walked in, tall and skinny with long, dark hair pulled into a braid that hung over her shoulder.

“There he is!” she cried, grinning at me and coming over. “You must be Zac. I’ve heard so much about you, Tay talks about you _all_ the time.”

“Does he…” I stood up straighter, glancing at my brother. 

“Zac, this is Katherine. She works the morning shift with me - us. She’s been here longer than I have, actually.”

“Kat,” she said, holding out her hand. “So, happy birthday, right? I swear, you don’t look sixteen. Honestly, Tay, he looks older than you! Same dashing Hanson good looks, I see.” She smiled and flipped her hair back as she walked past me and over to the register.

“Um… nice to meet you. Sorry, still kinda waking up.”

“Oh god, I know. Trust me, I’m the least morning person there is. If it wasn’t for Starbucks I’d go insane,” she laughed. I smiled at her; I had a feeling we’d get along just fine, as long as Tay hadn’t told her anything too embarrassing. 

“Right,” Tay said, looking between us. “Okay Zac, we’ve gotta get ready to open. There’s not a whole lot for you to do yet, so just have a seat for now.”

“Sounds good to me.” I took a seat at one of the tables near the counter, resisting the urge to go back to sleep. Instead, I kept an eye on my brother, as well as Kat. Working with my brother would definitely have it’s perks. For one, Tay couldn’t be too hard on me; we were family, after all. Not that I was planning on totally goofing off, but it wasn’t like he was going to fire me. Our parents would have a fit for sure if he did. 

Kat seemed nice, and she was really pretty, too, so bonus points there. I wondered how old she was. She looked about Tay’s age, but it was hard to tell. It was way too early to think about asking her out, but I was definitely curious. I made a mental note to drill Tay for info later, but then second-guessed the decision. I didn’t want to come off as too desperate. I figured I’d learn whatever I needed to in time from the source itself, as long as I played my cards right.

A couple hours went by, the first big wave of customers came through, and I got tasked with lobby upkeep. It was pretty easy; dump the trash, wipe the tables, restock napkins, etc. I didn’t have much time to talk to Kat, who was on the register. I couldn’t believe how busy the place was. The line was pretty much constant, sometimes going all the way back to the door, but Kat kept a cheerful face as she quickly rang each person up, while Tay made coffees and filled pastry orders. They made a great team, I noticed with a bit of a frown. But I reminded myself they’d been working together for a couple years, so they probably had the routine memorized to the point of auto-pilot.

“Okay Zac, finish up those dishes and we can head out,” Tay called from the front. Finally. I was soaking wet and my knees were killing me. I quickly washed the few pans I had left and set them up on the drying rack, then joined Tay and Kat at the front of the store. The afternoon guy, Steve, had shown up just before the lunch rush; Tay had given me a quick introduction before shooing me off to the sinks.

“Best thing about working first shift,” Kat said as she pulled on her jacket. “You still have all day to do whatever you want. You guys hungry?”

“Sure,” Tay answered, beating me to it. “The usual?”

“Sounds good to me,” Kat said, then looked at me. “Oh, sorry Zac. We usually go to TJ’s after work. But if you want, we could go somewhere else.”

“Nah, TJ’s is good. I could go for a burger.” I’d been to TJ’s Burgers and BBQ a couple times; their food was pretty good, but it was a little pricey. Thankfully I’d gotten some birthday cash, so I wouldn’t have to ask Tay to cover me. 

“So, what do you think?” Tay asked once we were in his car. 

“Eh, it’s not so bad. Kat seems cool.”

“She is,” Tay said with a grin that I didn’t like. I was pretty sure they weren’t dating; they hadn’t acted like anything more than good friends, and a secret like that would’ve been pretty much impossible in our family, anyway . But there was definitely something there.

“Do you like her?” I asked. 

“Of course I…” Tay stopped, his eyes going wide. “Oh! Oh, you mean do I _like_ her?” Tay paused, laughing for a minute. I didn’t know what was so funny, but he shook his head.

“No, I’m not interested in her. We’re just really close friends.”

“Oh,” I said, hope rising again. “That’s cool. You guys seem pretty tight.”

“Mhm. She’s great; I just really trust her, you know? I feel like I can tell her anything.”

“And what am I, chopped liver?” I said in a joking way, but I couldn’t help a tiny sting of jealousy. Tay and I had always been super close; people used to joke us being twins separated by a year and a half. He knew everything about me, and I knew everything about him… or at least, that’s how it used to be. I got it, though. He had a lot more on his plate now, between his job, school, thinking about college… 

“Don’t worry, you’re still my Zackie.” He laughed and ruffled my hair; I rolled my eyes and batted his hand away, but still grinned. 

“Yeah, whatever. Call me that at work and see what happens.” I rolled my shoulders and flexed a little. “So… how old is she, anyway?” I couldn’t exactly ask her, and Tay was my only source of info, like it or not.

“Nineteen. She just had her birthday last month. Wait,” he said slowly. “Do _you_ like her?”

“I dunno, I just met her.” I scoffed, but Tay grinned shook his head.

“Oh man. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think you’re her type.”

“Right, thanks.” I huffed and turned away angrily. How did he know? I mean, okay, he knew her better than I did. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t her type. How would he even know what ‘type’ I was? He probably just didn’t want drama at work. 

“Suit yourself,” he muttered as we pulled into the parking lot. I got out as soon as the car was stopped, but leaned against it as we waited for Kat. Tay came around the car next to me; a lit cigarette hung from his lips.

“Thought you told Mom and Dad you quit?” They’d hit the roof when Mom had found an empty pack in his jeans on laundry day a few months ago. 

“Yeah, and as far as they know, I did. And if you know what’s good for you, it’ll stay that way.”

“Right…” I grinned, always happy to have something on him. 

“Hey, would you rather be working with me, or flipping burgers at Mickey d’s?”

I scowled; he had a good point, and he knew it. He grinned and took a long drag, smirking as he exhaled. 

“Lemme get some,” I asked, holding out my hand. He cocked an eyebrow, but passed it over.

“And since when do _you_ smoke cigs?”

I shrugged and took another drag before passing it back. I really didn’t that often, but once in awhile I bummed one off Skyler or one of the other guys at school. I realized Tay was staring at me with a weird expression.

“What? You gonna go all hypocrite on me and tell me ‘smoking’s bad for you’?”

“No… just… nevermind.” He shook his head and stared at the ground while he finished smoking. I really didn’t get it, but then there was a lot about him I didn’t understand lately. 

Lunch was good; I found out Kat was an only child, and that she was going to college part-time, but she didn’t know what she wanted to do yet. We talked about our favorite movies, and Taylor only told two mildly embarrassing stories before I kicked his shin, hopefully hard enough to bruise.

When I got home that night Mom and Dad tried to ask me all about my day, but I told them I was beat and scrambled up to my room. I really was tired; it’d been a long-ass day, and lucky me, I’d get to do it all over again the next day… and the next… and the next…

“Zac… did you sleep in your clothes?”

“Huh? What?” I looked up and saw Tay at the foot of my bed. My mouth felt weird, the way it does after a too-long nap. “What time is it?”

“Ten after six.”

“Is dinner ready?” I asked, sitting up.

“Ten after six _a.m._ ”

Fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

**October 25th, 2001**

Monday morning, I woke up feeling like I’d run a marathon. The bakery had been busy all weekend, and thanks to that, I was almost looking forward to school, just for a change of scenery. That didn’t stop me from dragging ass as I rode my bike, half-way wishing I’d faked a stomach bug. Still, the sight of my best friend skating back and forth in front of the school waiting for me made it a little better. 

“Skyler,” I called, and he whipped around, his long brown hair swinging around him.

“Zac, hey, happy birthday.” Skyler popped his skateboard and stepped off; I finished locking my bike in the rack, then gave him a fist-bump. “Get anything good?”

“Eh, kinda… CD player, couple CD’s, some art supplies… a job...”

“Wait, what?” Sky turned to me, one eyebrow up. I nodded and waited as he grabbed his backpack from where he’d tossed it by the stairs, then we headed inside.

“Yeah. Mom and dad and Tay worked it out behind my back. I’m working at the bakery with him now, four days a week.” 

“Kinda harsh. But hey, at least you’re getting paid, right?” 

“Yeah, so that’s cool. I get my first paycheck next friday.”

“You gonna buy anything special? You know… celebrate?” He gave me a smirk, and I knew exactly what he meant.

“I might. Oh, Tay actually smoked me up; that was his present.”

“Oh shit… you sayin’ I got competition now?” He grinned and nudged my shoulder; I shoved him back and shrugged. 

“Gotta be honest, his stuff was a lot better than yours.”

“Maybe so,” he said, leaning against a locker and blocking my path with his arm. “Bet he doesn’t give you the full customer satisfaction I do, though.” His blue eyes shined, and for a second I remembered how much they looked like Tay’s.

“Fuck off…” I shoved past him, but smiled. We’d messed around a few times, not much more than making out and grinding, but it was… good. We weren’t a _thing_ or anything, but we weren’t weird about it, either. It was just something we did.

He was the only guy I’d done anything with, but I’d known for a while that I was into dudes. Not exclusively, though. Honestly, there were plenty of people I thought were hot, guys and girls. Hell, I could even see how attractive Taylor was, in an objective kind of way. Tay… was kind of an anomaly. When he’d been a little younger, before he’d cut his hair, he’d got called a chick all the time. It really bugged him, and I could get why, but if anyone’d asked me, I’d say he was pretty hot for a chick. The fact that he was a guy… didn’t really affect that opinion. 

“Oh, that reminds me. There’s this chick I work with, too, Kat.”

“Meow,” he said, drawing out the word. “She a looker?”

“Yeah she is,” I said, grinning again. “She’s a few years older, but man she’s hot. Really nice, too. Problem is, she just sees me as Tay’s kid brother. For now.”

“Ah, that sucks. But hey, just lay on the charm, who knows? Anyway I gotta jet, but I’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” He nudged my shoulder, his hand brushing against my leg in a way no one else would notice. 

“Yeah, see ya.” I grinned, and we went our separate ways just as the bell rang. I really hoped I had a shot with Kat, but it was too early to really tell. In the meantime, it was nice to know I had someone to vent to, in more ways than one.

\--------------------

“Ah… shit man, you’re gonna leave a mark…” I pulled away from Skyler and put a hand to my neck, wincing at the sore spot. He leaned back and grinned, admiring his handiwork. “Asshole…”

“Didn’t hear you complaining a minute ago.” 

“How much time we got left?” 

I took a drink of my soda while Skyler checked his watch. We usually ate our lunch outside, under the bleachers. People usually assumed we were smoking, and sometimes they were right. 

“Enough,” he said, pulling me in for another kiss. I rolled my eyes and shoved him back, grabbing his wrist. We still had roughly ten minutes before we’d have to head back inside.

“Yeah, okay.” I let him kiss me again; he was never too rough with me, but he didn’t treat me like a chick, either. I reached my hand under his hoodie, gripping his sides and pulling him closer.

“You wanna come over after school?” he breathed in my ear, his hand on my thigh. I groaned and pulled back a bit.

“Fuck… I can’t. Work.” 

“Ah shit.” He sat back, taking a breather. I looked him up and down, really wishing we had more time. He caught me looking and smirked, tugging on my belt loops. “C’mere.”

“Yeah, what do you want?” I crawled into his lap, biting my lip when I felt how hard he was.

“You.” He pulled me down for another kiss, rolling his hips up. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, grinding against him; I really, really wished we had more time, but in the distance I could hear the bell ringing.

“Shit… we gotta go…”

“Let’s just skip,” he said, kissing my neck again. It was so tempting… 

“Can’t. Got… test today.” Not that I could remember what the test was on; I could barely remember what class it was, the way he was nibbling on my ear. 

“C’mon, babe... “

I hated when he called me that. Not because it made me feel like less of a guy or anything, but because when he did, I just couldn’t say no, and he knew it.

“Fuck it, I’ll take a makeup.” 

I grabbed a fistful of his hair as I bit his lip. I was probably gonna catch shit for missing a test, but it was hard to care about anything with his hands on me. I felt him tugging at the zipper of my jeans, and I tensed up.

“Dude…”

“Relax,” he whispered in my ear. “No one's around.”

“Yeah, but.. “

“I'll stop if you want.” He looked up at me, and I knew he was telling the truth. He’d never push me too far; hell, there’d been plenty of times when I was the one getting him riled up. This was something new for us, though. We’d done some touching before, but never skin-on-skin. 

I looked around; we were plenty hidden, and we’d probably hear anyone coming up the gravel path. I looked at him, and he gave me a crooked smile, and I caved.

“Fine. But if we get caught I'm totally blaming yo _ooh my god…_ ” As soon as he wrapped his hand around me, it was like being hit by lightning. I'd jacked off plenty, but having someone else touch me was totally different. 

“Feel good?”

“Fuck yeah…” I grabbed his shoulders to steady myself as he stroked me. He pulled me in for a kiss, at the same time swiping his thumb over my head, and I started to shake. I was so close already, and I ground my ass against him, feeling his hard-on rubbing me in all the right ways. 

“Fuck, Zac. You're gonna make me blow, riding me like that.”

“Isn't that the idea?” I panted, and he chuckled. “Shit, Sky… I'm gonna… fuck…”

“Bite down if you gotta,” he said, pulling my head down to his shoulder. As he sucked on my earlobe, I couldn't hold back any more. I gripped his sides and bit down on his shoulder as I let out a loud moan, my body shaking as I came. He held me tight and growled in my ear as he came right after.

“Fuckin’ a.” I let out a laugh as I rolled off his lap. 

“I know, right? Good thing I got my gym clothes with me.”

I glanced over at the obvious dark patch on his jeans, and laughed.

“I need a smoke.”

“Which kind?” he asked as he stood up and dropped trou, changing his shorts.

“Just a cig; I've still got History.”

He finished changing and grabbed a cigarette from his bag, lighting it before passing it over. We shared it in silence for a few minutes. 

“So. That was… good,” he said finally, smiling.

“Yeah it was. You gonna let me return the favor next time?”

“You better. You think I give it up for nothin’?” He shoulder-checked me and laughed. I knew there was no pressure though. And honestly, I was looking forward to it.

He leaned over and kissed me again; it was a sweet move, and while we weren’t dating or anything, it was nice to know he cared beyond just getting off. We were friends with benefits, but definitely friends first.

\--------------

“You sure there’s nothing there?”

“Dude, you’re fine, relax. I promise.” Skyler laughed as I adjusted my scarf. I’d made him triple-check my neck for hickies; I didn’t even want to think about what shit I’d catch from Tay, or worse, Mom. None of my family knew about me like that, and for now I wanted to keep it that way.

I sighed and leaned against Tay’s car while I waited for him.

“You off tomorrow?” Skyler asked, skating back and forth in front of me.

“Yeah, I think so. Wanna hit the mall? I still got some birthday cash to burn.”

“Sounds good. I still gotta get you something anyway.”

“You coming to the party on Saturday?” Every year for the past few years, our parents had let us throw a Halloween party for the older kids, while they took the younger ones trick-or-treating. 

“Yeah, sure. You dressing up?”

“I dunno, maybe just a creepy mask or something. I guess we can check out the costume shop at the mall.” 

“Hey Tay,” Skyler called as my brother headed over to us.

“Hi Skyler. All set?” he said to me.

“Yeah. Catch you later, Sky.”

“Call me when you get home.” He waved and skated off as I loaded my bike into the back of the car. 

“Need a hand?” Tay asked, but I shook my head.

“Nah, I got it.”

“So I heard you missed your math test,” Tay said as he started the car.

“Congratulations, want a cookie?”

“Zac…”

“Relax, I’ll take a makeup. I was… busy.”

“Right. I’m guessing this was Skyler’s idea?” Tay sighed and shook his head. “Just don’t let Mom find out you skipped.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” I sighed and re-did my ponytail. “Anyway, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Just the usual. Oh, wait, no… we’ve got a catering order to fill. I might have you hop on the register for a while. Kat can show you.”

“Cool.” I grinned, looking forward to working with Kat. I wondered if Tay had already invited her to the party; if not, maybe I would. “Oh, I’m not working tomorrow, am I?”

“No, you’re off til Thursday. Why, you got plans?”

“Yeah, going to the mall with Sky. Spend the birthday money from Grandma, maybe grab a costume.”

“Aw, going on a date with your boyfriend? Cute.”

“Fuck off, dude. I don’t see you bringing any girls home to Mom and Dad either.”

Tay got real quiet, his smile disappearing almost instantly. “Just ‘cuz I don’t bring them home, doesn’t mean anything,” he said after a minute, but there was something weird about how he said it. 

“Sure, Tay.” I reached over and turned on the radio to fill the silence. I’d always kinda wondered about Tay, the way he never really seemed interested in dating. He was attractive enough to have anyone he wanted, but I’d never seen him go on a date, or even ask anyone out. Maybe we were more alike than I thought. But that was his business, not mine.


	4. Chapter 4

“That’s sick dude,” Skyler said, laughing. “Okay, I got one. How do you turn a baby into a cat? Freeze it, then use a band saw. _meee-yow…_. Wait, wait. How do you turn a baby into a dog? Pour gas over it and light a match. _Woof._ ”

“That’s so fucked up.” I was cracking up, trying to think of a joke to top his. “Oh, oh, okay. What’s worse than nailing ten dead babies to a tree?”

“Nailing a dead baby to ten trees!”

I laughed and took another sip of my milkshake. We’d been walking around the mall for a couple hours now. I’d bought a couple t-shirts and a new wallet, and Skyler got me the new System of a Down CD.

“So how’s the job treatin’ ya?” 

“It’s alright. I got to run the register yesterday. Got to work with Kat all day, too, while Tay was stuck back in the kitchen.”

“Nice, you getting anywhere with her?”

“I dunno…” I shrugged and stared at the floor for a second. “She’s real smart; I think she might be outta my league.”

“Hey,” he said, stopping me. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a great guy; any girl’d be lucky to get with you. Or guy,” he added with a smirk. 

“Yeah, yeah…” I smiled and shoved past him, but stopped a second later. “Oh shit, that’s her!”

“Zac? Hey!” She spotted me from a few feet away and came over, grinning. Skyler nudged me and winked; I rolled my eyes and gave him a shrug, but ran a hand through my hair.

“Hey Kat, what’s up?”

“Oh, not much, just doing a little shopping. How’re you?”

“Pretty good. Oh, this is my friend Skyler. Sky, this is Kat.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, politely shaking her hand. 

“So, what’re you two up to?”

“Just spending some birthday cash,” I said. “We were gonna hit up the costume shop too.”

“Oh, for your family’s party, right? Yeah, I still need to pick up a costume too.”

So Tay had already invited her. It sucked, but I wasn’t surprised.

“Well hey,” Skyler spoke up, “why don’t we all head over there? I mean, if you’re not busy.”

“Sure, why not? I could use a couple guys’ opinions anyway.” She grinned and together the three of us headed towards the costume store.

“You’re welcome,” Skyler whispered to me, chuckling.

“Shut up, dude.” Still, I had to hand it to him for the idea. 

“So how’s school going?” Kat asked. 

“Pretty good. I had to make up a math test I missed, but I aced it.”

“That’s great! I hated math when I was in school; English was always more my thing, especially creative writing.”

“English is alright. I’m not big on writing, but I like to read.”

“Me too! What kind of stuff do you like?”

“Fantasy, mostly. I just finished reading The Hobbit for like the third time.” As soon as I said it, I worried about sounding like a nerd, but she smiled.

“That’s cool; I never read that one, but I saw the movie. I’m more a murder-mystery kinda girl myself.” 

We got to the store and split off, looking for a bit until Kat asked us to wait by the fitting room.

“You weren’t kidding, man,” Skyler said. “She’s majorly fine.”

“Told you. I was gonna ask her to the party, but I guess Tay beat me to it.”

“Are they dating?”

“No, he said they’re just close friends.”

“Right… question is, how close?” Sky said, nudging me; I rolled my eyes and gave him a shove.

“So? what do you guys think?” Kat stepped out from behind the curtain dressed in a tiny red dress with a hooded cape. She did a little twirl, her already short skirt showing another couple inches of thigh. I looked her up and down, unable to peel my eyes from all the skin she was showing off. 

“Oh, um… yeah…” I cleared my throat, trying to look her in the eyes. “I mean, you look… great.”

“Yeah, that, uh… really suits you,” Skyler managed to say. I glanced over and felt a smug satisfaction that he looked just as flustered as I felt.

“Aw, you guys are sweet. You don’t think it’s too slutty, do you?”

“No,” we answered in unison. 

Kat giggled and shook her head. “Okay, I’m gonna go get changed, and then I think I’ll just take this one. Be right out.”

“Hoooly shit,” I mouthed once she was out of sight.

“I know, dude, I know. You’re so lucky you get to work with her.”

“Yeah, just sucks about the ‘work’ part.”

“Still better than nothing, though. And she’ll be at the party, too. Maybe someone’ll suggest a round of spin the bottle.” He winked at me and laughed, then turned to look at some masks. I wondered if I’d get a chance to do anything with her at the party; last year we’d played seven minutes in heaven, although I’d sat it out. I browsed the racks, looking for anything that caught my eye. In the end I decided to just grab a pair of fangs. 

“Hey, I wanna stop in at Hot Topic after this.”

“Goin’ goth on me?” Sky said, coming back over empty-handed. I showed him the fangs and he grinned, and grabbed a matching pair and headed for the register.

“Copycat…”

“Hey guys, I actually gotta get going,” Kat said, joining us. “Do you need a ride home, Zac?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you tomorrow then! Nice meeting you Skyler.”

“Likewise.” 

Kat payed for her costume and headed out, waving to us as she left the store. We got our fangs and made our way to Hot Topic, picking out some makeup and a few accessories. 

“You wanna sneak into a movie?” Skyler asked a little later, taking a bite of his pretzel. 

“Depends. Are we gonna actually watch it this time?”

“Hey, you’re the one that dragged us into the theater for The Princess Diaries.”

“Screw you, I told you that was an accident, it was supposed to be Jeepers Creepers.”

“Which we _still_ haven’t seen, by the way. Anyway, I didn’t really mind.” He winked and nudged me, stealing a sip of my soda. 

“Actually there’s that new one, Donnie Darko, that opened today. Looked pretty good.”

“So I should keep my hands to myself?” Skyler laughed as we turned towards the theater.

“We’ll see.”

\-------------------------------------

Later that night, after dinner, I knocked on Tay’s door.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Just wondering if you had any more of my present in there.”

“Sure,” he said, smirking. “Just give me a sec.” He ducked back into his room; I waited in the hall, rocking on my heels. “Okay, let’s go.”

We went out to the treehouse together, and Tay pulled a joint from behind his ear. 

“Talked to Kat, she said she ran into you and Skyler?”

“Oh, yeah. We didn’t get to hang out for long, but we helped her pick out her costume. Well… she modeled it for us anyway.” I grinned, feeling my body heat up a few degrees at the mental image. 

“Lucky you. Is Sky coming to the party too?” Tay took another hit before passing the joint over; I nodded as I inhaled.

“Yep. Is Ike gonna be there too?” This was the first party since Ike had moved out, so I wasn’t sure what his plans were. He was in college now; would he really want to hang with a bunch of high schoolers? Still, it wouldn’t be the same without him.

“I think so. He said he might be bringing someone, Nicole, Nina… something like that. You asking anyone? Besides Sky, that is.”

“Not really,” I said, shrugging. “I spread the word at school, but I didn’t ask anyone to go _with_ me, like a date. I like to leave my options open.” I grinned, but Tay laughed, coughing on the smoke.

“Oh yeah, ‘cuz you’re such a player.”

We were quiet for a while, just passing the joint back and forth until it was done. 

“So… you said you and Kat are pretty close, right?”

“Hm?” Tay looked up, his eyes taking a couple seconds to focus. “Oh, yeah. She’s great. Why?”

“Well… what kind of guys is she into?” 

“Zac…” Tay sighed, rolling his eyes. It’d been stupid to ask him; of course he wasn’t going to help me hook up with his friend.

“Just forget it.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt, okay? Kat’s not…”

“Not what?”

“Look, it’s really not my place to tell you, okay? Just trust me, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“Screw you,” I said in a huff, getting up to leave.

“Zac, c’mon, don’t be like that. I’m just trying to help.”

“Yeah, well, don’t bother.”

I climbed down and stalked back to my room, dropping onto my bed with a sigh. Did he think I was too young for her? Three years wasn’t that big a deal, and it wasn’t like I was a kid. He was probably just scared of me moving in on his territory. Maybe he wanted her, but she didn’t like him like that. Well, just ‘cuz she shot him down, didn’t mean she’d do the same to me. I’d show him; I was going to ask her out, and she was going to say yes. I was sure of it.

I tossed and turned for a while, but I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about Kat, and how good she’d looked in her costume. With a frustrated sigh, I reached into my boxers and wrapped a hand around my half-hard dick. I closed my eyes and thought about her, pictured her at work, slowly unbuttoning her shirt. She smiled and sighed my name, beckoned me closer. In my imagination her clothes faded, showing more and more skin until she was wearing nothing but an apron.

I spit in my hand for lube as I pictured her dropping to her knees and sucking me off. I bit my lip hard to keep from moaning as I imagined staring down into her eyes, watching her lips curled around me. The vision blurred, though, her face flickering and shifting to Skyler’s. I shook my head, trying to get her back, but the face staring up at me kept switching between the two. I decided to just go with it, speeding up as I got closer to the edge.

“Fuck…” I tossed the sheets off of me as I jacked myself, desperate for release. I didn’t even care whose face it was at that point, as long as I got off. I could practically hear them moaning my name as I felt all my energy pooling in one spot, ready to explode… Zac, Zac…

“Zac?” It was Taylor’s voice, coming from the other side of my door. I tried to stop, but it was too late. I turned my head and moaned into my pillow, my legs shaking as I came. My breathing was ragged and my hands shook as I fumbled for the box of tissues in my nightstand drawer. I cleaned myself up as quick as I could, covering up just as Tay opened my door a crack.

“What the hell, man?” I snapped, and he froze. 

“Shit, um… I’m sorry. I’ll just…”

“No, it’s… It’s fine.” I took a deep breath and sat up a little, reaching over and turning on my bedside lamp. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to say sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to piss you off. I just… I really don’t want to see you get hurt, you know?”

“I’m not gonna get hurt,” I told him, rolling my eyes. “And even if I did, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can.” He came over and sat on my bed, and put a hand on my knee. I tried to shake the weird feeling that hearing his voice while getting off had left me with. “I’m always gonna worry about you, though. Kinda part of the ‘big brother’ job description, you know?”

“Yeah, fine. I just wish you wouldn’t treat me like some dumb kid. I’m not innocent or anything; I’ve done stuff.”

“With who?” he asked, smirking. I shrugged and looked down, picking at my sheets.

“People. None of your business. Anyway, I’m just saying, you don’t have to, like, protect me or whatever.”

“Alright, I’ll lay off. I gotta go crash; you may have off tomorrow, but I don’t.”

“Sucks to be you.”

“Night,” he laughed, leaving and closing the door behind him. I laid back on the bed, letting out a frustrated breath. I hated that my brain had taken his voice and twisted it into my fantasy. He was attractive, sure, but he was also my brother. The fact that I’d still gotten off anyway… I decided to just ignore that fact.


	5. Chapter 5

**October 30th, 2001**

“What do you think?” I stepped back to look in the mirror, twisting the black bracelets on my arm. I’d settled for a black tank top and Tripps shorts, along with some black lipstick and eyeliner, and of course the fangs.

“Good enough to bite,” Skyler said, stepping up behind me and kissing my neck. He put in his own fangs and grinned at our reflection, pressing the plastic tips against my shoulder.

“Ow! Fuck, those things are actually kinda sharp.” I winced and tried to pull away, but Sky’s hands on my hips held me still. He bit down again, right at the crook of my neck. I drew in a breath, leaning back against him for a second. “Okay, okay. We need to get downstairs.”

“Yeah, alright.”

We headed out of my room, and were stopped in the living room by my parents.

“Well, don’t you two look intimidating,” mom said with a smile. 

“Thanks mrs. H,” Sky said, grinning and showing off his fangs. 

“Alright boys,” Dad spoke up as he put on his jacket. “You know the drill, keep it to a dull roar, don’t leave the house, and try not to break anything. We’ll be home a little later; just don’t give us a reason to bother you, and we won’t. And have fun.”

“Night guys.” I waved to my younger siblings, then turned and headed down to the basement. There was already music playing, and a couple people from school had already showed up. I grabbed a soda and went over to where Tay was talking to someone in a clown mask.

“Hey Tay.”

“Hey Zac, Skyler. Nice,” he said, looking us over. 

“And what’re you supposed to be?” I couldn’t see anything all that special about his outfit, jeans and a t-shirt.

“James Dean; I just took my jacket off, it’s over there.” 

“Oh… that’s cool I guess.” I looked around, keeping an eye out for familiar faces. One red-hooded face in particular.

“She’s not here yet,” Tay said; he wore a smug grin, and I wanted to hate him for it.

I ignored what he said and wandered over to where a few of my classmates were. I talked with them for a while, but I kept an eye on the stairs, looking over every time someone else arrived. Ike showed up after a bit, bringing some alternative drink choices. 

“Thirsty?” 

I turned around to see Tay standing there, holding out a red cup of what looked like punch. He’d put his jacket back on, and I had to say, the costume looked good on him, from the tight jeans to the slicked-back hair, and even the cigarette tucked behind his ear. I took a long sip of my obviously-spiked drink; the sweet taste of the punch had a sharp edge to it from whatever alcohol had been added. 

“You know, you don’t look half bad,” he said, taking a step back and looking me up and down. “It’s… different. I kinda like it.”

“Yeah? You’re not so bad yourself. I don’t know how the hell you got into those jeans, though.”

“Practice,” he said with a grin. “Worth it, though.”

“I’ll say.” I blinked, not sure where that’d come from; even Tay seemed surprised. I took a big gulp of my drink, already numbing to the burn.

“Oh, right, I almost forgot. Kat called; she’s actually not gonna make it tonight, she said something came up.”

“Oh… that blows.” The one person I’d really looked forward to seeing wasn’t coming. My mood soured, and I downed the rest of my drink. 

“Sorry. She really wanted to come; apparently her roommate’s having some kind of meltdown or something. She said she’d try to make it still, but she didn’t sound too optimistic about it.”

“Yeah, whatever. Doesn’t matter. I need another drink.” I didn’t even have much reason to be upset; it wasn’t like there was much chance of anything happening between us, at least not then. Still, I was pretty bummed out.

“I’ll get it for you,” Tay offered, taking my cup from me. As he turned to cross the room, the sight of his ass in those jeans was at least a little bit of a distraction. At least until I saw him watching me over his shoulder, one eyebrow up and a smirk on his lips.

“Okay guys, first bottle’s empty, you know what that means!” Ike, the resident bartender, held up the emptied glass bottle, grinning wide. A murmur rippled through the crowd, along with a few whispers and giggles. Tay came back with my cup; I wondered if it’d been my drink that’d drained the bottle. 

“You gonna play?” he asked, looking over the group of people beginning to form a circle.

“Sure, why not?” I shrugged and found a spot between two girls. We all sat down, most of us with drinks in hand. I spotted Skyler across the circle; he gave a wink, holding up his own plastic cup in a ‘cheers’ motion. Once we were all in place, Ike set the bottle in the center.

“So, just so we’re clear. You spin, the bottle points to someone, you kiss. Simple, right? Play goes to the right, no doubles, no redo’s. Hands to yourself; you want more, take it outside. Okay, let’s see who’s first. Jessie, you’re up.”

He took a step back, standing just outside the circle, and the girl the bottle pointed to took his place. There was a pretty big group, so I sat back, not expecting my turn for a while. I looked over my prospects, seeing if there was anyone I was hoping for or against. No one seemed too repulsive, but there wasn’t anyone I was dying to lay my lips on, either. I wondered what would happen if I landed on Sky, or vice versa; Ike had said no redo’s, after all, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to out myself like that. Still, I could just chalk it up to the game.

I had a pretty good buzz going by the time I finished my second drink. It left me just brave enough to give Tay another glance when he wasn’t looking. Why had I been so fixated on him earlier? Sure, I knew he was attractive, but I wasn’t attracted _to_ him… there was a difference. Wasn’t there? It wasn’t like it was with Skyler, or Kat. I didn’t want him the way I wanted them. Or at least, I didn’t think I did. But the way he looked in those jeans was impossible to ignore, and I had to admit - to myself, if no one else - that it was causing at least a small reaction.

“You’re up, Zac,” the girl next to me said with a giggle. I reached over and gave the bottle a solid spin. It slowed down, and for a moment I thought it was going to stop at my brother; he thought so too, judging by the way his eyes widened and darted up to me. But instead it rolled just a little more, settling on a blond girl I vaguely recognized. She giggled behind her hand before kneeling over so I could kiss her.

It wasn’t my first kiss, obviously, not even with a girl, but it might’ve been hers by how nervous she looked. It was kind of cute though, the way her cheeks turned bright pink as I looked her over quickly. She was pretty, maybe not as hot as Kat, but pretty. I gave her a reassuring smile as I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to hers. It took her a second to react, further confirming that this was probably her first kiss.

I gave it a few seconds before pulling back. She looked a little dazed, but giggled and went back to her seat. I got up to refill my drink as the game went on; out of the corner of my eye I saw Skyler get up as well. The way he was staring suggested something was definitely on his mind, but I couldn’t say whether it was good or bad. I handed him the drink I’d poured for myself, then started on a fresh one. 

“I could’ve sworn you were gonna have to kiss your brother.”

I glanced over; he was smiling, but it looked forced.

“Well, he does make a pretty hot chick; maybe the bottle got confused.” 

“That chick you kissed seemed pretty pleased,” he said, leaning against the table and sipping his drink. “She’s cute, yeah?”

“She’s alright,” I replied with a shrug. “Pretty sure it was her first.”

“Aw, how sweet. Got a thing for the cherries, do ya?” Sky batted his lashes at me and grinned. I’d been his first kiss too, the first week of summer break; he was the first, and so far only, boy I’d kissed. “Anyway, I’ve got some supplies for the afterparty, whenever you wanna get out of here.”

“Maybe in a bit. You’ve still got your turn coming, if you hurry up and get back over there. But yeah, we can head out to the treehouse later.”

“Cool.” Sky tapped his cup against mine, then went back to his spot in the circle. I noticed the girl I’d kissed was looking my way; she gasped and turned to giggle at her friends as soon as she caught me looking. I just rolled my eyes and sipped my drink. I was being a bit of a downer, I knew, but I kept going back and forth between my disappointment at Kat’s no-show, and my confusion at my own thoughts about my brother. Because for a split second, I’d almost wished the bottle _had_ landed on him.

\------------------------

A couple hours and more than a few drinks later, Skyler and I stumbled out to the treehouse, singing a horribly off-key version of Thriller. We were both pretty drunk, but Ike had cut us off before we could cause any permanent damage. Still, we’d managed to swipe half a bottle of rum before he’d left, and were carrying it with us as we made our way across the yard.

“Dude,” Sky said, collapsing on the floor once we were inside the confines of the treehouse. “Good party.”

“Good enough. Pass me the bottle and roll us a jay.”

“Way ahead of ya.” He grinned and pulled a ziplock bag with a few joints inside from one of his pockets.

“Nice.” I reached for the bottle and took a swig as he took out one of the joints. It hung between his lips for a minute as he searched his pockets for a lighter. “Don’t fucking tell me…”

 

“Nah, I got it,” he said, finally producing a lighter. “This stuff should be better than last time.” He took a couple hits before trading the joint for the bottle.

“Not bad.” We passed the two vices back and forth for a while, until the joint was finished.

“Still think Tay’s is better?”

My drunk and nearing-stoned mind took Sky’s words and twisted them, and I swallowed hard.

“Nah… yours is the best.” 

“Is that so?” He gave me a lusty smirk as he took another hit, holding it and beckoning me closer. I hovered my lips over his as he exhaled; I kissed him roughly and felt him moan against my mouth. 

“Ah,” he hissed, pulling back. “Watch the fangs, dude.” He chuckled, then tilted his head, thinking. He grabbed my wrist and slowly brought it up to his mouth, his eyes on mine the entire time. His hand felt hot, but his tongue was cool as it washed over my skin, followed by the prick of his fangs. They weren’t sharp enough to break skin, but the pressure combined with the look in his eyes made my jaw hang open and a shiver run down my spine.

“How do I taste?” I realized the double meaning as soon as the words left my mouth. Skyler grinned wider and kissed a tortuous path up my arm, my shoulder, my neck, pausing to whisper in my ear.

“I’d love to find out.”


	6. Chapter 6

**October 30th, 2001**

“So, can I?”

Skyler’s hand was already popping the button of my jeans, pulling down the zipper, reaching inside… I closed my eyes and nodded, not trusting myself to manage actual words. I shivered when I felt his hand wrap around me and give a few slow, teasing strokes. He kissed my neck, the plastic fangs pricking a bit.

“Better take these out,” he said, chuckling. I leaned back on my elbows and lifted my hips enough for him to tug my pants and boxers down my hips. The air was chilly, but his hands were warm as he ran them up and down my thighs. He wrapped his hand around me again and smiled, licking his lips.

“I, uh… I guess I owe you for this too now?” I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.

“Yeah you do,” Sky said, smirking. I opened my mouth to answer, but he wrapped his lips around the head of my dick and any words I’d had disappeared in a puff of smoke. His mouth was hot and wet and it felt better than anything I’d ever experienced. And when I felt his tongue swirling against me, I forgot what words even were.

He kept his eyes on mine as he worked his way down, then slowly pulled back, flicking his tongue at my slit.

“S-so what’s the verdict?” I managed to say. He grinned, and instead of answering he just ducked his head back down, taking me into his mouth again. “Fuck…”

He ran his hands up and down my legs as he sucked me. I almost had to wonder if he’d done this before, even though I trusted he hadn’t. I reached a shaking hand out and touched his hair; I didn’t want him to think I was forcing him, but he glanced up and gave me a wink, tilting his head. I tangled my fingers in his hair, gripping just a bit but still letting him set the pace.

“You taste so fucking good, Zac,” he panted, stroking me for a minute. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I could do this all night.”

“Well… don’t let me stop you…” I grinned and gave his hair a tug; he cocked an eyebrow, but went back to work anyway. I let my head fall back and my eyes close, just enjoying the sensations. Everything he was doing felt amazing, and while part of it was probably because I was still high and drunk, I was pretty sure it was mostly just him being that good. 

Still, I couldn’t help feeling a little guilty that this would be the second time he’d gotten me off without getting much in return. I looked down at him, laying on his stomach between my legs, his cheeks red and his eyes on me, and I made a decision.

“Hold up,” I said, tugging his hair. 

“Gettin’ too close?”

“No, I mean, a little, but…” I nudged him back and sat up a bit. “I wanna pay up. S’not fair for you to be doing all the work.”

“You don’t really have to if you don’t want to,” he said, sitting up.

“I know.” I ran a hand through my hair and stared at the floor for a second. “I want to. I mean, if you want me to.”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” He smiled and crawled over, stopping just in front of me. “Is it okay if I kiss you? Cuz, you know…” He glanced down for a second, and I got what he meant. He didn’t know if I wanted to kiss him after he’d been blowing me.

“Oh, yeah, I don’t mind.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his; when he deepened the kiss I could taste myself on his tongue, but it wasn’t that bad. It made me want to taste him. I nudged him back, kissing his neck as he leaned back. 

“Bet that Tracy chick would kill to be in my spot,” Skyler joked, smirking. I had to think for a second to realize who he meant.

“Yeah, well she’s not. Boo hoo for her.” I undid Sky’s jeans and pulled them down, noticing he’d gone commando. He was already hard, a few drops of precum pooled at the tip of his dick. I leaned down and darted my tongue out, lapping them up. It wasn’t as bad as I’d thought, in fact I actually liked it, and quickly went in for another taste.

“Shit, Zac,” Sky moaned, leaning his head back. I glanced up at him, keeping an eye on his reactions as I swirled my tongue around his dick like one of those rainbow twisty lollipops. When I finally bit the bullet and took him all the way into my mouth, something about it just felt… _good_. Like, really good. I actually let out a moan as I started to suck him, bobbing my head. And I had to be doing something right, the way he was panting and biting his lip as he watched me.

I took him back in my mouth; I didn’t care if I looked greedy, I _felt_ greedy. I wrapped a hand around what I couldn’t fit in my mouth, stroking as I sucked. My own hard-on was still aching, and I reached down to stroke myself.

“H-hey,” Sky said suddenly, and I looked up. His eyes were half-closed; I almost wanted to laugh at how distracted he looked. “If-if you want, we could… like… just stay there.” 

I watched as he sat up and turned around, then lay on his side next to me in a sixty-nine position. He shooed my hand away from my dick and replaced it with his own, grinning up at me. 

“Oh,” I said. “Yeah, that’s good.”

He gave a nod, then wrapped his mouth around my dick, and I did the same to his. As good as sucking and being sucked off separately felt, doing both at once was even better. He and I both moaned at the same time, so I guessed he agreed. I put a hand on his hip to steady him; he rested a hand on my stomach, pushing my shirt up out of the way. My hips bucked against his mouth, but he just moaned louder. 

“Fuck,” I said, panting for breath. “I’m gonna come soon.”

“Me too,” Sky replied, clawing at my skin and rolling his hips. He pulled away and I actually pouted, but when he pushed me onto my back and lay over me, his dick grinding against mine, my mind went blank. He leaned down and kissed me so hard it almost hurt. I grabbed his hips and thrust up against him, as he rocked against me frantically. 

“Shit, Sky…” I couldn’t take it anymore, and let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl as my orgasm hit me. I felt him tense up against me as he came too, both our jizz coating our stomachs. I could hardly breath for a few seconds, my whole body was shaking and my heart was racing. My head fell back against the floor with a dull thud, and I heard Sky let out a breathy laugh.

“Fuck, man. Not a bad way to end the night, huh?” He pulled his shirt off and wiped his stomach, then passed it to me so I could do the same. I balled it up and tossed it in a corner, then zipped back up. Skyler was dressed before me, so he pulled another joint from the bag and lit it. I took a swig from the bottle and laid back down, my head in his lap.

“Comfy?” he asked, smiling. I reached out and grabbed the joint from his hand, took a long drag, then pulled him down for a shotgun kiss. 

“Yup.” 

“Zac, you up there?” Tay’s voice came from outside. I could hear him coming up the ladder and sat up quickly, panicking a little.

“Shit. Um, yeah, just… hold on…”

“Why?” he laughed, his head popping up into view. “You got a girl up here, or- Oh. Hey Skyler.”

“‘Sup,” Sky said, taking a drag from the joint, then holding it out. “Wanna hit it?”

“Um… sure.” Tay looked from Sky to me and back; I sat against the wall, sipping from the almost-empty bottle. Why did Sky have to use his shirt as a rag? I glanced over to where I’d tossed it, but it was dark enough to not stand out.

“You know it kinda stinks up here, right?” Tay said between hits. “You really gotta get a better connection.”

I sniffed the air, and realized the tree house reeked of sweat and sex. 

“That’s what I keep telling him,” I spoke up. “I told him yours is better.”

Sky stifled a laugh, and even Tay chuckled at that. I hadn’t meant it as an innuendo, but if it worked as a distraction, that was fine with me.

“Well I don’t know about that,” Tay said, grinning. “I do alright though.”

I couldn’t help looking him up and down briefly, and while he didn’t seem to catch it, Skyler did. His eyes widened just a fraction, but his lips turned into a smirk as he looked back at Tay.

“Yeah, I’ll bet you do,” Sky said. “I’ve heard you got ‘em lining up around the block.” He gave Tay the same once-over I had, only he didn’t bother trying to hide it. What was he doing? Tay noticed, and looked a little surprised. 

“He’s saving himself for Carmen Electra.” I passed the bottle over to Tay, and took the joint from Skyler. “That’s why he hasn’t had a girlfriend yet.”

“Oh is _that_ the reason?” Sky asked, grinning. Tay shot him a look as he took a drink from the bottle.

“Yeah well Zac hasn’t had a girlfriend either, and I’m willing to bet neither have you.”

“Easy Tay,” I said. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?”

“Nothing,” Tay sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Just… lay off the girlfriend shit, okay?”

“My bad,” Sky said, shrugging. 

“It’s fine. Look, I’m gonna go crash. Just…” Tay looked at each of us, then shook his head and left without another word. Once he was gone I let out a sigh.

“That was close,” I said, and Sky nodded. “Hey, you’re cool with this, right? With not telling anyone?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. Not like it’s their business anyway.”

“I know, I just kinda feel bad.” I took my position from before, laid out with my head in his lap. “I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed or whatever.”

“I know you’re not. Trust me, if my parents cared half as much as yours do, I’d be scared shitless of them finding out.”

“You’re really the best. You know that, right?”

“You’re just sayin’ that cuz of the awesome blowjob.”

“Yeah, not bad for my first time, huh?” I laughed as Skyler poked me in the side. “Oh, you meant the one you gave me. Yeah, that was pretty good too.”

“Asshole.” Sky rolled his eyes and took a drag, then held it out for me. 

“Seriously, though. I’m really glad you’re here. And I’m not just using you for sex and weed, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah… bet you say that to all the boys.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss me, running his fingers through my hair. I rolled onto my side and snuggled against him, getting comfortable. Between the alcohol, weed, and post-climax bliss, I was beyond ready to pass out. The only thing nagging on my mind was my confusing thoughts involving Taylor, but those were already starting to blur into my subconscious. The night hadn’t gone how I’d hoped, but it’d still been amazing, maybe even better. 

“You greening out on me?” Sky asked quietly, still stroking my hair.

“Mhm. Got a problem with that?”

“No complaints here. Night, Zac.”

“Night Sky. And hey… seriously. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”


	7. Chapter 7

**October 31st, 2001**

“Hey Zac,” Kat said as she let herself into the bakery, locking the door again behind her.

“Morning.” I finished wiping down the counter and leaned against it, smiling. “Missed you at the party last night.”

“Ugh, I know,” she sighed. “I was all dressed and everything, but then my friend had this huge fight with her boyfriend, and she was in pretty bad shape. I couldn’t just leave her there, but trust me, I would’ve much rather been at the party. Or anywhere else, for that matter,” she added with a laugh. “Don’t get me wrong, Nina’s been my best friend since middle school, but good god does she attract drama.”

Kat hung up her coat and started counting down the register; I didn’t want to bother her while she was adding everything up, so I gave the tables a quick once-over that they didn’t really need. There were a few dishes I needed to take care of, but Tay was back in the office doing some paperwork, and I didn’t feel like being too close to him right then. Things had been a little awkward between us since he’d found me and Skyler in the treehouse. I was pretty sure he hadn’t guessed about us, but there was no way to tell for sure.

“It’s just too bad I didn’t get to see you in your costume,” I told her once she closed the register drawer. “Bet you looked amazing.” She smiled sweetly and leaned over the counter, ruffling my hair.

“Aw, you’re sweet. Tell ya what, how about we do lunch after work today? Just you and me.”

“Sounds great,” I said, trying not to grin too much. “I’ll buy.”

“It’s a date.”

Tay came out from the back just in time to hear that, and gave me a quizzical look. Kat just giggled, shaking her head as she went to unlock the door. I grinned at Tay and headed off to do dishes; I knew he’d been wrong about me not being her type. Hell, I hadn’t even had to ask her out.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. We were pretty busy; I was able to spend a couple hours up front, but Kat and I didn’t really have time to talk between customers. But I had our date to look forward to, so for me the day still couldn’t go by fast enough. The last hour dragged by, the hands on the clock moving so slowly I thought they’d stopped. Finally the afternoon crew came in, and I practically ripped my apron off.

“Hey Zac?” Tay called from the office. I cursed under my breath, but went to see what he needed anyway.

“What’s up?”

“So I heard you’re having lunch with Kat.” 

“Yeah,” I answered, grinning. He stared at me, probably jealous. “So did you need anything, or…”

He sighed and rolled his eyes, then waved me off, muttering something under his breath. I wasn’t paying attention, though; Kat was waiting for me out front, her car already running.

“TJ’s?” she asked, but I shook my head as I got in.

“How about something a little nicer? There’s that little Italian place on Grant, or maybe the sushi bar on Yale?”

She raised an eyebrow, and I wondered if I was overshooting my goal. 

“Italian sounds good,” she said finally. “You said you’re treating me, right?”

“Sure am.”

We were quiet as we drove across town. I tried to think of something to say, but I was drawing a total blank. I didn’t want to fall on anything lame like ‘read any good books lately’, but I had to come up with something fast.

“So, um… See any good movies lately?” It wasn’t much better, but it was still better than awkward silence.

“Actually, yeah. I went to see From Hell last weekend with a few friends.”

“That’s the one with Johnny Depp, right?” I remembered seeing the trailer, something where he had a British accent. I always remembered him as being one of the first famous guys I had a thing for, and not just for his acting.

“Mhm, and that chick from the second Austin Powers movie, the one that played Felicity Shagwell. I can never remember her name, but I loved her in this.” Kat went on a little speech about how pretty what’s-her-face was; it was nice seeing her so excited about something. 

“Well for what it’s worth, I think you’re way prettier than she is.”

“Aw,” she cooed, scrunching her nose and giggling. “I wish, but thank you anyway.”

We got to the restaurant, so the next twenty minutes or so were spent parking, sitting, and ordering. I told her to get whatever she wanted before looking at the menu; after a quick glance I panicked, but luckily I hadn’t spent much of my first paycheck yet. Skyler would be a little disappointed about having to skip out on the ‘celebration’, but after I told him why I doubted he’d be able to blame me.

“So how’s classes going?” I asked her as I munched on a breadstick.

“Not bad. There’s this drawing class I’m in, I just picked it to fill an arts elective, but I’m really having fun with it.”

“That’s great. I love to draw too.”

“Yeah, Tay’s mentioned that,” she said with a smile. “He told me you’re really good.”

“He did?” I was pretty surprised; I knew Tay’d always said he liked my drawings, but I figured he was just humoring me, or making fun of me. But if he was telling other people, maybe he really did like them. “I could bring in one of my sketchbooks and show you some of my stuff, if you want.”

“I’d love that. Hey, maybe we can draw each other! I could use the practice with my faces anyway.”

“Sure, I’d love to draw you.” I mentally kicked myself for sounding desperate, but she grinned at me like she didn’t mind at all. I thought about drawing her, _all_ of her, and had to fight back a grin. She blushed a little and looked away, which made me wonder if she was thinking the same thing. 

Our food came then, so the next few minutes was mostly just us eating and smiling at each other. I thought about making some kind of move, like nudging her foot with mine or something, but I didn’t want to rush things. With Skyler, there was nothing stopping us from doing whatever we wanted, because we knew and trusted each other. But Kat was a girl, not to mention my co-worker, and friends with my brother; I couldn’t just dive right in and hope for the best.

“So how’s your friend Skyler? I heard you two got up to some trouble after the party.” She gave me a smirk, her lips curling in a way that sent my mind straight to the gutter. I vaguely registered that her words meant Tay’d blabbed about us smoking, but her curious grin and the way she was leaning towards me had me distracted.

“Maybe,” I said, shrugging. “Nothing too crazy, but hey, fun’s fun, right?”

“Sure is.” She nodded, her eyes going unfocused for a second. Her cheeks were pink again, and I found it really hard not to get my hopes up why. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” I teased, grinning.

“Oh, um… nothing.” She shook her head and took a sip of her drink, but I saw her eyeing me, which had to mean I was right. “So, um… Anyway, how’s school going for you?”

“It's going,” I said with a shrug. “Pretty boring, really. Homecoming’s in a couple weeks.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna take anyone to the dance?”

I smiled; she might’ve well just invited herself at that point, but I felt like playing it cool a little longer. “Don't know yet. Depends if she can get off from work that day.”

Her eyes went wide for a second; was that too bold? She sipped her drink and looked at her phone.

“Hey, um, I actually have to get going. I forgot I gotta be somewhere in like twenty.”

“Oh. Yeah, it's cool, let me just get the check.”

As I paid for our dinner--I had enough, barely--I went over our conversation in my head. Had I misread her signals? No, I'd probably just embarrassed her by moving too quick. Well, I hadn't _actually_ asked her yet, so the damage couldn't be that bad.

She dropped me off at home, saying a quick goodbye and thanking me again for lunch. Tay wasn't home from work yet, and Sky wasn't home either when I tried to call, so I lay down for a nap. I couldn't wait to tell them both how my date went. 

Sleep wasn’t happening, so instead I pulled out my new sketchbook and drew for a while. I hadn’t had anyone in mind when I started, but as the features of the face beneath my pencil started to take form, I realized they looked a lot like Tay’s. I shrugged and kept at it; it wasn’t the first time I’d done a portrait of him. I was pretty good at drawing from memory, but Tay’s face had always been the easiest for me to remember. 

I chewed on the end of my pencil as I looked over my drawing. I wanted to get his lips just right; not too feminine, but just a little. I closed my eyes and tried to picture his face. I thought about the Halloween party, and our game of spin the bottle. Especially those few tense seconds when I thought I was going to have to kiss him. I remembered him licking his lips, catching the lower one between his teeth. I remembered wondering what it would taste like. 

My eyes shot open, a familiar shiver running down my spine. I went back to my drawing, pouring over every detail until it felt just right. I wasn't even looking at the whole picture anymore, just focusing on his eyelashes, the corner of his mouth, the curve of his jaw. 

“Hey Zac,” Tay said, rapping my open door with his knuckles. 

“Oh, hey.” I looked up from my drawing for a second, then back down. It was pretty much done at that point, so I set my pencil aside and stretched my arms.

“So how’d your ‘date’ go?”

“Great, actually.” I grinned and pulled my legs up so he could sit down. “I’m gonna bring my sketchbook to work; she wants to see my drawings, and maybe have us do each other.” I blinked, realizing my word choice, and smirked. Tay just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, you have fun with that. What’cha working on?” he asked, peering over at my drawing. I turned it so he could see, and watched him look it over. His eyes slowly grew wider, his cheeks turning red. “Zac, what the hell… “

“What?” I took my drawing back, wondering what had him all upset. When I looked at the drawing, really looked at it, I realized I’d managed to perfectly capture an expression so lusty, it almost made me blush. His eyes were half-closed, his head leaned back at an angle, his lips parted slightly with just a hint of tongue and teeth behind. His hair fell in his face a little, a few strands obstructing the view of one eye.

“Why the hell would you draw me like that?” he asked quietly, not looking my way.

“I… didn’t mean to. Just kinda came out that way, I guess.”

“It’s not… I mean, _I’m_ not…”

“Not what?” I looked over, curious what he was trying to say. He was biting his lip again, his cheeks still pink. 

“You made me look all… sexy, or whatever.”

I cocked an eyebrow, missing his point. “And?”

“And I guess I just… didn’t know you saw me that way.” 

“I’ve got eyes, Tay. I mean, it’s not like I wanna bang you or anything,” I added, and instantly regretted it. I tried to laugh it off like a joke, and Tay let out an uneasy chuckle, but he refused to look me in the eye. “But… you already know you’re hot. You don’t need another person telling you.”

“Maybe,” he said, his brow furrowing. “It’s different coming from you, though. It’s like… I know you’re not trying to get anything from me, so I can believe it more. You know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” I let out a breath, looking down at my drawing again. He really did look sexy, and sexual, like he was caught in the act, or maybe right before. It made me wonder if that’s how Tay really looked when he got turned on.

“Um, anyway…” Tay coughed and got up, sticking his hands in his back pockets. “Dinner should be ready by now. So… yeah.” He stared at me for another second, before turning and leaving. 

I thought Tay was sexy. I said it in my head, trying to figure out what that meant. I’d always said I knew how hot he was, but with the ‘objectively’ tag attached. I’d always maintained that there’s a difference between thinking someone is sexy, and wanting to do stuff with them. I thought I’d known which side of that line I fell on. But lately, I wasn’t so sure.


	8. Chapter 8

**November 1st, 2001**

"So how'd your date go?"

I looked over at Skyler. We were smoking under the bleachers again, this time after school. I had the day off from work, and he never had anything better to do than hang out with me, or so he said.

"It went really good. She's gonna draw me for her art class, and she said I could draw her, too."

"Like one of your French Girls?" he laughed, nudging my knee with his own. He threw his head back as he exhaled a plume of smoke. We laughed for a second as he passed the cigarette to me. "That's cool though. You gonna ask her to homecoming?"

"I kinda hinted at it already. She... I don't know, she seemed kinda weird about it. I might've jumped the gun a little, so I guess I'll just have to wait a while and try again." 

"Well hey, if she shoots you down, I'll be your date." He laughed again, but as I looked at him, his smile settled into something more sincere. He almost looked shy, which was something I hardly ever saw. 

"You gonna buy me flowers and everything? Or is that my job?" 

"You can if you want. Or hell, nothing saying we can't both." He looked down and picked at the grass beneath us, and I got the distinct impression we weren't really joking around anymore. In all the time we'd been messing around, we'd never really talked about what it meant. We hadn't felt the need to; we were friends, we liked to have fun, and sometimes that meant making out.

Except it was more than that now. As he looked up at me, plucking the cigarette from my fingers and bringing it to his lips, I felt a tremor of... something, deep in my chest. Friendship, attraction, but deeper. He was my best friend, and I cared about him a lot. maybe romantic feelings weren't out of the question either.

"I mean, it's whatever," he said after a while, shrugging. "If you even feel like going. We could always just catch a movie or something."

"Well I mean, I don't want you to feel like the backup plan." It did feel a little wrong to be holding him on reserve. What if there was someone he'd wanted to go with? He hadn't mentioned anything, but he had plenty of options. He wasn't popular like Tay, but the girls definitely talked about how hot he was when they thought we couldn't hear.

"It's cool," he said, smiling. "Probably won't go myself, unless you do. Not really the pep rally, team spirit type."

I nodded, not really knowing what else to say, and reached into my bag for my sketchpad. I'd forgotten it was open to the picture of Taylor, and tried to flip the page, but Sky noticed it before I could.

"Woah, hold up. Lemme see that." He grinned and took the pad from my hand, looking it over. He glanced at me, one eyebrow cocked, and I felt my cheeks heating up. “Damn. He model this for you, or is it from memory?”

“Fuck off,” I said, rolling my eyes and reaching for the book, but he held it out of reach. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“Freudian slip of the pen?” he asked, smirking. He looked at the drawing again, his eyes slowly wandering over the page. “It’s really good, though.”

“Thanks. I really don’t know why I drew it like that.”

“How come you don’t draw me like that?” He grinned as he handed back the sketchpad.

“Who says I don’t?” I shot back, even though the truth was I hadn’t. At least not yet, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. 

“Well if you ever need a model, just hit me up.” He laughed, but I shrugged, flipping to a new page. “If your muse isn’t available, that is.”

“He’s not- For christ’s sake, I didn’t mean to draw him like…”

“Like a porn star right before the money shot? I’m just screwing with you, Zac,” Skyler laughed. “I mean, it’s not like you wanna jump his bones, right?” 

“R-right…” my answer didn’t sound nearly as convincing to my own ears, and the way Sky looked at me, I was pretty sure he didn’t completely buy it, either. “I mean, that’d be pretty fucked up, right?”

“I guess,” he said with a shrug. “I dunno. I mean, siblings is kinda different, isn’t it? Like, if he was way older, but you guys are only what, a year and a half apart?”

“Are you seriously making an argument _for_ incest?”

“I’m just saying it wouldn’t be _as_ fucked up as, like, a parent or uncle or something. And, well…” He glanced at me, his cheeks turning just a little pink. “I mean, he’s hot, you’re hot… the two of you together might be kinda hot.”

I stared at him in disbelief. He reached into his pocket and dug out a fresh cigarette, lighting it and inhaling slowly. Was he honestly saying he was okay with the idea of Taylor and me, together, sexually? I didn’t know what shocked me more -- his lack of judgement, or the relief I felt because of it. I wasn’t ready to admit that yet, though; I barely wanted to admit it to myself.

“You think he’s hot?” I asked, nudging his knee with mine. 

“Not as hot as you,” Sky answered, giving me a once-over that made me grin. There was an honesty to his words though, and that was what made me smile. He leaned over and kissed me, slowly. I kissed him back, setting my sketchbook aside and laying back, pulling him down with me.

He laughed and flicked away his barely-smoked cigarette, then situated himself over me and kissed me again. There was no hurry today, no need to get off as quickly as possible. Anyway, it didn’t feel like that this time. The way he looked down at me, it felt more emotional, more… important.

We took our time, just kissing and holding each other. One of us would kiss the other’s neck, or rock our hips together, fingers gripping at shirts or reaching underneath to touch skin, but then we’d back off again. I loved the way he he whimpered when I nipped at his ear, and he chuckled at my moan as his nails dragged lightly down my chest. There was a heat building, but it was a slow burn. 

Eventually I became aware of the sun starting to set, the bands of light coming from between the bleachers growing rosy and dim. 

“Sky,” I said, practically more breath than word. “Sky, we should… we gotta…”

“Just tell your folks you’re crashing at my place.” 

“And what, sleep with you under the bleachers?” I chuckled. Sky looked up, his eyes unfocused, and I realized how my words had come out. He smiled and sighed, sitting up.

“Well, do you wanna come over? We can get pizza or something. Mom's pulling a double at the hospital tonight, and Dad’s got poker, so he won't be home til late, if at all.”

“Yeah, okay. I'll call and ask, but it should be fine.”

“Cool.” Sky gave me another quick kiss, then rolled to the side so I could sit up. I dug out my phone from my backpack and called home. As expected, my mom had no problems with it, as long as I behaved and got to school the next day. 

She never said it, but I always got the feeling she worried about Skyler. It wasn't that she thought he was a bad influence; if anything, she seemed to hope I'd be a good influence on him. But she knew his family wasn't as well-off as ours, not poor exactly, but not as lucky (or “blessed”). She always made it a point to invite him over for dinner, holidays, stuff like that, without it coming across as pity.

We packed up or stuff and headed for his place, me on my bike and him on his board. Skyler lived in a different part of town from me, a little less suburban. Lots of smaller houses crammed together, with maybe a small patch of yard in the back. A rottweiler barked at us from behind a chain fence as we rounded the corner onto his street.

“Shut up Mikey,” Skyler yelled, which only made the dog bark more. We laughed and rode on, down to the red two-story at the end of the block. I parked my bike next to the porch and followed him inside and up to his room, laying on the bed while he closed the door.

“So what do you want to do?” I asked, kicking my shoes off. Sky smirked at me as he joined me on the bed, but I rolled my eyes and gave him a nudge. “Besides that. Horny bastard…”

“Like you don’t love it.” He laughed as he lay on his side next to me. “But I don’t know. What do you feel like doing?”

“Hm…” I looked at Skyler for a second, then got an idea. I climbed over him to reach my bag, which I’d dropped on the floor, and pulled out my pencils and sketchpad. “How about that muse gig?”

“Sure,” he said, grinning. “Just tell me how you want me.”

“Just like that’s fine.” I sat up with my back against the wall, and looked him over, then started drawing. We sat quietly for a while, the scratch of my pencil on the paper and the muffled barking from outside the only sounds. 

“It cool if I move?”

“Yeah, you’re fine, I’m almost done.” I looked up as Sky shifted, stretching his arms above his head. I put down a few more lines, then sighed and set my pencil down. “There. Not perfect, but…”

“Lemme see.” Sky moved next to me to look at the drawing. It wasn’t sexual like the one I’d done of Taylor. I’d tried to capture his smile, the innocent one he gave me sometimes. He looked up at me and gave me the same smile, and I felt a warmth in my chest. “I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” He leaned closer, giving me a light, barely-there kiss. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” I answered, barely above a whisper. As we stared at each other, the feeling in my chest grew. The more I thought about it, the more obvious it became. But just because I felt it, didn’t mean he did, too. And even if he did, was it worth risking our friendship over? And what about my feelings for Kat, and my… whatever, for Taylor?

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his brow furrowing and his lips curling into a concerned frown.

“I don’t know…”

“Well whatever it is, forget it for now. Not important.” He nudged my nose with his, brushed his lips against mine. He was right. All the complicated messy stuff could wait; for now, there was just us, and doing what felt right. And what felt right was tossing my sketchbook aside and wrapping my arms around him, and letting him pull me down into a deep but unhurried kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**November 2nd, 2001**

The next day started off great; I’d had a pretty awesome dream, mom made waffles, and we had a half day at school. Even having to work didn't bother me, because it meant I got to see Kat. It'd been about a week since our date, and even though I'd worried a little about how things would be between us, everything was just fine. Maybe today I'd try asking her to the dance again, or at least on another date. 

“Hey Zac,” Tay called from the front of the store. I finished washing the pan I'd been working on and dried my hands off, heading up front.

“Yea, what’s up?” 

“Kat just texted me, she said she's gonna be a little late. You mind running the register while I get some paperwork done?”

“No problem,” I said, grinning. That just meant I'd get to say hi to her first. “I wanted to talk to her anyway. You think she could get the night off if I ask her to homecoming?”

Tay had started heading for his office, but he stopped and slowly turned to me, his lips curled in a frown.

“Zac… I really don't think that's a good idea.”

“Not this crap again,” I sighed, rolling my eyes and leaning against the register. “I just don't get it. I know you guys are besties or whatever, but come on. Do you think I'm not good enough for her?”

“It's not that. It's just…” He bit his lip and glanced away. Of course, how could I have missed it?

“You like her. You like her, but she friend-zoned you, and you don't want me moving in.”

“Wha- what?!” Tay’s eyes bulged as he stared, his cheeks turning red, and I knew I was right. “That’s not… I don’t…”

“Save it,” I snapped. “She doesn't wanna go out with you, too bad. She actually likes me, believe it or not, and I'm not gonna let your stupid jealousy stop me.”

“Zac… trust me. I do *not* want to… to, um…” He was staring at something behind me, and I had a feeling I knew what - or who. 

“Maybe we should just ask-” I turned around, and sure enough, Kat was outside, leaning against her car. With another girl. Making out.

What.

It must've been a goodbye kiss, because the other girl got back in the car while Kat headed inside. When she saw me she froze, her hand on the door. 

“Zac,” she breathed, her eyes wide. “I, uh… shouldn't you be in school?”

“Half day,” I said, my voice a little raspy. Everything made sense now. Everything Tay had said, everything *she* had said… I felt like the world's biggest idiot. My eyes felt hot; my lip started to shake. Kat took a step closer, but I shook my head. I didn't want her pity. I wanted to disappear. 

“I gotta go,” I said quickly, turning and pulling my apron off. I heard both of them calling me, but I ignored them as I grabbed my bag and headed out the back. I didn't want them to see me like this, either of them.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't have my bike, so I just picked a direction and started walking. All I could hear was them laughing at me, making fun of the dumb kid who tried to hit on a lesbian. I was so stupid. Part of me wanted to be mad at Tay, but I couldn't. He had tried to warn me, even if it was in the vaguest, least helpful way ever. Well, Taylor is Taylor, after all. 

I didn't know how long I'd been walking for, but after a bit I heard someone calling my name. I looked around, and sat Tay pulled over on the other side of the road. 

“Hop in,” he called, but I shook my head. There was no way I could face Kat, now or ever. There were other jobs out there, how hard could it be to just get a different one?

“I'm not going back.”

“I know. Just get in.”

“Fine,” I sighed. I didn't really want to, but Taylor was just stubborn enough, he'd probably just follow me around until I caved. I crossed the street and climbed in, tossing my bag in the backseat. “You head for the shop, I tuck and roll. Got it?”

“Got it,” he said, chuckling. I leaned my head against the window, not really paying attention to where we were going. I figured he'd just drive me home, but it was clear pretty quickly that wasn't our destination. I didn't feel like asking, though, so I just watched the streets roll by. I expected a speech, something about walking out on the job, or ‘I told you so’, but Taylor was surprisingly silent. I wondered how long that would last.

It lasted until he pulled into the burger joint drive-thru, when he turned to ask what I wanted.

“You buying?”

“I'm buying,” he replied with a hint of a smile. Not about to turn down free food, I ordered my usual. He got himself something too, but told me to wait when we got our order. He drove a little further, to a little park I'd never been to. It was small, but nice, overlooking the river.

“C’mon,” he said, grabbing our food bag and getting out of the car. Leave it to Taylor to make a big production out of it. Sure enough he grabbed a blanket from the trunk and picked a spot under a tree, setting out our makeshift picnic.

“How romantic,” I deadpanned, and he went a little pale. I laughed and sat down, taking my time digging into my food. We ate in silence for a bit, the sounds of the river and the birds helping me relax.

“Thanks,” I said quietly. 

“You're welcome.”

“I'm sorry I got mad at you. For thinking you were jealous.” I let out a derisive snort. “I'm such a fucking moron…”

“No,” he said quickly, but then bit his lip. “Well, a little. I did-”

“Dont. Say it,” I warned him; he smirked, but didn't finish the sentence. I sighed heavily and lay back on the blanket, staring up at the afternoon sunlight filtered through the leaves. They were a fiery mix of colors now, half of them already gone. Normally they'd all have fallen by now, but we were having an unusually warm autumn. Still, there was a chill on the breeze, reminding us winter wasn't far off.

I heard Tay lie down next to me, and smiled at him.

“This is pretty nice,” I told him. “This where you put the moves on all your not-girlfriends?”

“Shut up,” he said, blushing, but he smiled. “You could probably ask anyone to homecoming, you know. You're more popular with the girls than you think. That girl from the party’s been asking about you at lunch.”

“Hm? Oh… maybe.” I hadn't even thought about that yet. Skylar and me had sorta made plans, but I wasn't sure I wanted Taylor to know that yet. Then again… If he was best friends with a lesbian, maybe having a brother who’s bi wouldn’t be that shocking. And maybe all my jokes about him not having any girlfriends were closer to the truth than I'd realized.

I looked over at him. His eyes were half-closed as he stared up at the tree and sky. There was a tiny smile on his lips, the corners curling just a little. I thought about the Halloween party, and the drawing of him I'd done. He was definitely attractive, and I was slowly coming closer to admitting *I* found him attractive. But an open mind still has its limits. There was no way he wouldn't freak, if I were to reach over and touch his cheek, or tuck that piece of hair behind his ear, or…

“See something you like?” he asked, glancing over without turning his head. His lips pulled up into a hint of a smirk.

“Maybe,” I replied, feeling bold. He asked, so if he didn't like the answer, that was on him, not me. But he just smiled a little wider, and sighed. Maybe his mind was more open than I gave him credit for, or more likely, he just assumed I was kidding. I wanted to test the waters; after the incident at the shop, how much worse could it get?

“Hey Tay?” I asked. “At the party… when we were playing. You remember?”

“Remember what, exactly?” He was staring up again, and I wondered if he knew what I was going to ask. 

“When I spun. Right before it stopped on that girl. For a second, it looked like… well…”

“Like it was gonna land on me,” he finished.

“Yeah. I was just kinda curious… what you would've done.” I bit my lip, bracing myself. But I wanted to know. If he said he would've made me spin again or something, fine. But if not… He turned his head slowly, staring at me like he was looking for something. He opened his mouth, but closed it again.

“It doesn't… really matter, does it? It didn't land on me. And even if it had… it's just a game. Right?”

“Yeah, I know.” I looked down at the blanket, a little annoyed that he hadn't really answered my question. 

“Zac,” he said quietly. When I looked up, he was laying on his side facing me. “What would you have done?”

I stared back at him. I’d asked myself that same question a lot lately, but never really come up with an answer. And maybe Taylor knew that, or at least understood my silence, because he smiled a little and nodded.

“Who knows,” he said, rolling onto his back again. “Maybe we’ll play again sometime, and find out.”

Somehow, not only had he not given me any answers, he’d left me with even more questions. Was he saying he wanted to find out? Did he think I wanted to? Did I?

“I’d better get back to work,” he said after another minute, sitting up. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover for you. Just today.”

“Thanks. And thanks for… this. It was nice. Cheesy as hell, but that’s your style I guess.” I laughed at him as I got up and brushed myself off. We bagged up our trash, and I helped him fold up the blanket. 

“You want a ride home?” he asked as he got in the car, but I shook my head.

“Nah, I think I’m just gonna walk home. Kinda need some time to think, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Just be safe, okay?” He smiled, and I watched him drive off. Sometimes he was an alright guy, even for a brother. I turned in the direction of home, not really in a hurry. I had a lot on my mind, between Kat, Skylar, and Taylor. The subject of homecoming was on my mind, too. If I asked Skylar to go with me, would it be considered a date? I realized I wasn’t totally against the idea, but I still wasn’t certain how he felt, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk getting embarrassed again. Still, he’d been the one to bring it up first.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the short list of contacts, finally landing on his name. There wasn’t anyone else I wanted to go with, even if Taylor’s claim about me having my pick was true. The more I thought about it, the easier my decision became. I hit the call button and bit my lip as it rang. I didn’t know why I was nervous- well, that was a lie. But that was stupid; this was Sky, my best friend. It wasn’t like he was going to say no… probably.

“Hey man,” he said, sounding a little breathless.

“Hey. How’s it hangin?”

“Not bad, just got out of the shower. Thought you were at work?”

“Yeah… I got out early. Hey, I was thinking… about homecoming.”

“Oh yeah? Did you ask Kat?”

“Um… no. Long story, don’t really wanna talk about it. Later.”

“Okay, that’s cool. So, what’s up then?”

“I was kinda wondering if… if you still wanted to go. Like, with me.”

The line was silent for a second, and I panicked. But then I heard a soft laugh.

“You were nervous I’d say no, weren’t you?” he asked, and I rolled my eyes at his teasing tone.

“Shut up…”

“No, you totally were! You were scared I’d shoot you down? Oh man, that’s hilarious. Your palms sweaty and everything?”

“You know what, maybe I’ll just go ask someone else,” I snapped, but I didn’t mean it, and his laugh told me he knew I didn’t.

“Zac,” he said after taking a second to stop giggling. “Of course I’ll go to homecoming with you.” This time, there was no joking in his tone, and I grinned despite how dorky I probably looked. “I’ll even get you flowers if you want. Blue still your favorite color?”

“You know me so well…”

“And you know me, so why the hell did you think I’d say anything other than yes?”

“I didn’t,” I grumbled, kicking a rock out of my path. I heard him chuckle again, and rolled my eyes. He was right, though. Part of me wished I’d just asked him from the very beginning, but hindsight’s always twenty-twenty. At least we were going together now, though. I still wasn’t sure if we were going “together” though, but we had time to figure that out. I thought about telling Taylor, but decided against it. He’d be sure to ask if it was a date or not, and it’d probably be better to know how to answer that question first. Then again, maybe it didn’t really matter. That, and my conversation with him still had me confused. 

Between crushing on a girl who isn’t interested in guys, dealing with a friendship that seemed to be turning into something else, and feeling… whatever it was, for my own brother, I was getting pretty exhausted from the emotional whiplash. Things with Skylar weren’t exactly simple, but they were a lot less complicated than the other two. And for the time being, that was good enough for me.


	10. Chapter 10

**November 10th, 2001**

“Well, don’t you look handsome.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said as I looked myself over in the mirror. I’d gone with the standard black suit, white shirt combo, with a dark blue bowtie for a bit of originality. I didn’t know if Skyler was planning on matching; we still hadn’t really defined what this was, whether we were just going together, or… _together_. 

“It’s still a shame you didn’t ask anyone to go with you,” my mom said, leaning in the doorway. I hadn’t told her about Kat, obviously. 

“It’s fine, really. There wasn’t anyone I wanted to go with…” Besides Skylar, I finished in my head. 

“Well, you never know. I’m sure plenty of girls will be there without dates too. Just be safe, and have fun.” She came over and gave me a hug, looking like she might cry for a moment, before smiling and heading back downstairs.

I was overthinking this. I straightened my tie for the tenth time, then turned away from the mirror, pacing a little. I was definitely overthinking this. We were just going as friends, and we probably weren’t even the only ones. So what if it was going to be just the two of us? Yeah, people might talk, but it wasn’t like they didn’t already. Not to our faces, of course, but I knew there were rumors going around. The fact that neither of us had publicly dated anyone, especially girls, wasn’t exactly helping our case.

But then, is it still a rumor if it’s true? We weren’t a couple, but we were definitely more than just friends. We’d never questioned it before, but I was finding it harder to not think about it. Was it just me, or was it on his mind, too? There were times when he’d look at me, and I’d swear I could see him thinking the same things. Part of me wanted to bring it up, to ask him about it. But then part of me was scared of what he might say. If it turned out he really didn’t think about me more than just a friend with benefits… I didn’t like the uneasy pit in my stomach when I started imagining that scenario.

But there was more to it than that, of course. If we did decide to go _together_ , that would mean coming out. Confirming to other people that I wasn’t totally straight. I’d never really wanted to put a name to it, but I could admit it to myself anyway. But telling other people was another story. Was I ready for that? And what about Sky? 

Someone knocked on my door, jolting me from my thoughts, and I turned around. Skyler was standing there, his hands behind his back. I felt a tiny flutter of happiness when I noticed he’d picked the same suit and tie as me, and it felt like a pretty big clue what this was to him.

“Hey,” he said, looking me up and down. “You look great.”

“Thanks.” I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “You too.”

“I, uh… got you something.” He looked a little shy as he held his hand out, and when I looked down, I realized why. He’d gotten me a boutonniere, a blue carnation surrounded by a bunch of little white flowers.

“Oh. Wow. Um… thanks.” I was grinning like an idiot, but I didn’t care; it was a smooth gesture, and I hoped it meant what I thought it might. “You gonna pin me?” I asked, trying to break the awkward tension that probably only I was feeling. He smirked and stepped closer, pinning the flowers to my lapel.

“I got you one too,” I said, reaching to get it from my nightstand. His face lit up in a smile, soothing the worries I’d had when I bought it. The flowers were a little different, but the colors were basically the same as the one he’d gotten me. I turned to the mirror and looked at us; we really did match. 

“So, the limo’s waiting downstairs. Bet your mom’s gonna wanna take pics?”

“Probably,” I laughed, following him out of my room. My parents already had the camera out and were waiting for us, and we had fun coming up with a few totally-not-a-couple poses. I didn’t think my parents suspected anything, but I did see my mom’s eyes flicker between the flowers on our jackets. Still, they told us to have a good time, and sent us off without too much fussing.

I was surprised to see that Skylar really had rented a limo. Not a stretch, since it was just the two of us, but a limo nonetheless. This was feeling distinctly more date-like by the minute, especially when he held the door open for me.

“You really do look good,” he told me as the car pulled away from my house. 

“Yeah? Not too much like a penguin?” I laughed, but he shook his head. “You do, too. I think you pull it off better than me.”

“Want a drink?” he asked, reaching into the mini-bar built into the side of the car. “Couldn’t get any champagne, but we’ve got plenty of soda.” I nodded, and he grabbed a can for each of us. 

“So… this is really nice,” I said, looking around the spacious interior of the car. “You steal your mom’s credit card or something?”

“Nah. I, uh… did a few delivery runs for Chris.”

I blinked; Chris was Skylar’s dealer. That meant that what he was delivering wasn’t exactly pizza.

“Just be careful man,” I said. “Don’t need you being hauled off to juvie.”

“You think they allow conjugal visits?” he laughed, nudging me. “Nah, I’m too good to get nabbed. Anyway, I’m not making a career out of it or anything. Just had to get enough for tonight. Gotta show my date a good time, right?”

He smiled at me for a moment, then looked away. I took a breath; he’d called it a date. Sure, it was in a joking way, but he’d definitely referred to it - to me - as his date. 

“So far so good,” I told him, nudging his knee with mine. His cheeks were a little pink when he looked back at me, and for a second I worried he hadn’t really meant it as more than just a joke. 

“Is that… okay?” he asked quietly. “I mean… is this…”

“I… Yeah. I think so. I mean, I want it to be. As long as you do…” I swallowed hard, waiting for him to laugh it off, but he didn’t. He reached over and touched my cheek, then leaned in and gave me a soft kiss.

The car came to a stop, making me jump a little. We were at the school, and everyone was lined up out front. I got out first this time, holding my hand out for Skylar. Once he was standing I gave his hand a squeeze; he smiled at me, nodded a little, and adjusted his grip. If we were really doing this, why not go all-out with it? 

As we got in the line to enter the gym, I tried to keep calm, but I felt like everyone was staring. I glanced around, but no one seemed to have even noticed us yet. I looked at Skylar and tried to smile, and the way he smiled back did help ease my nerves. Still, we’d danced around the words, and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page before people started asking questions.

“So… I’m being stupid, I know, but…” I bit my lip, kicking a pebble on the ground. “This is… a date, right? Like, a real, actual date?”

“It’s a date,” Skylar said, nodding and squeezing my hand. “We’re on a date. Our first date, if you wanna get technical,” he added, smirking. “You sure you’re okay with that?” he asked, his smile falling a bit.

“Yeah,” I replied quickly. “Yeah, I am. I just wanted to, you know, be sure. I’m glad I asked you.”

“I am too,” he said, looking down and blushing a little. “It feels a little weird though, right? You and me, as a couple? Not a bad weird, just… different.”

“I know what you mean,” I said, nodding.

“Uh-oh,” Skylar said suddenly, looking past me. “We’ve been spotted.”

“We have?” I turned and looked in the direction he nodded; sure enough, a few of our classmates were looking at us, their eyes wide as they whispered to each other.

“Should we give ‘em a real show?” Skylar whispered in my ear, his lips barely brushing my skin and making me shiver.

“You’re horrible,” I said, laughing and nudging him away. “Later,” I added at his fake pout. “We’ve got all night, right?”

“True, true.”

The line started moving finally, everyone filing into the building as their tickets were collected. The teacher taking our tickets raised an eyebrow at our joined hands, but said nothing. We snickered as we walked on, and Skylar threw an arm around my shoulders. More people around us noticed, and it seemed word was spreading fast. 

"I wonder how many people had bets running about us," Sky said as we dropped off our coats in the cafeteria. 

"You think people knew?" I hadn't really thought about it before, but as far as I knew we'd always been careful. But then again, we were really close, neither one of us had dated anyone, we spent all our time together - including disappearing under the bleachers on an almost daily basis. Suddenly it didn't sound like we'd been that discreet at all.

"Well they know now. Or they will by the end of the night. Shall we?" He grinned and offered his arm. I chuckled and elbowed him, but took his hand as we headed into the gymnasium. The music was blasting and people were starting to claim their patches of floor, dancing in small groups. A few couples were dancing together, but the current song was a fast one, not really the kind for slow dancing or grinding. Skylar and I kept off to the side for a bit, talking about the people we saw, who looked like they were hooked up with who, the teachers that'd chosen (or been forced) to chaperone. 

"I'm gonna get us some drinks," Skylar said, and I nodded. He looked at me for a second, then leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek. When he pulled back his cheeks were a little pink, but he smiled before heading off. I grinned as I leaned against the closed-up bleachers, looking around. I was on a date, with Skylar. I was Skylar's date. As his... boyfriend? The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and the warm feeling it gave me.

"Hey Zac," a girl's voice came from beside me, and I turned. It was the girl from the party, and I struggled to remember her name.

"Hey... Tracy, right?" 

"Yeah, that's me," she said, giggling behind her hand. "I was hoping you'd be here. You look really nice."

"Thanks, you do too," I told her. She was pretty, I guessed, her blond curls pulled into an updo, and a low-cut pink dress with a short skirt. But I didn't feel particularly attracted to her; I wondered if that was because my mind was on Sky.

"So, did you come by yourself too?" she asked, and I swallowed hard. Showing off was one thing, but saying it out loud was another. But I could do this. I wanted to.

"Actually, no, I... I'm here with Skylar."

"That's cool, you guys seem really close. My friends wanted me to come with them too, but I was like, I'm gonna see you all when I get there, right?” She giggled again, apparently missing what I was saying. I shook my head and tried again.

“No, I mean, I’m here _with_ Skylar. Like… together.”

“You mean… oh. _Oh._ ” Her eyes went wide, and I braced myself for her reaction. Her smile fell a little, but she managed to keep it in place. “So, you guys are, like, dating?”

“Um… yeah. Well, technically this is our first date, but… yeah, I guess we are.”

“So you’re gay, then.” Her tone wasn’t nearly as judgemental as I’d expected, but there was still an edge to it.

“I don’t know. I mean, I like girls too. So, I guess I’m bi.”

“Oh. Okay.” She stood there for a minute, not staring exactly, but looking me over like I was a different person. I silently prayed Skylar would come back and save me from the awkward silence, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“That’s cool, I guess,” she said after a few more seconds. “I’ve got a cousin who likes girls. I mean, she’s a girl.”

“That’s cool.” I shifted from one foot to the other. At least she wasn’t judging me or calling me nasty names, so I counted that as a win.

“Well, I guess I’d better go find my friends,” she said finally. “I hope you have fun with Skylar. You guys do kinda make a cute couple,” she added, giggling one more time before turning and scurrying off. I let out a heaving sigh and closed my eyes. In all the worrying about publicly coming out with Skylar, somehow it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d end up coming out, too. But I’d done it. I’d actually admitted, out loud, to another person, that I wasn’t straight. It felt… good, in a nerve-wracking kind of way.

I leaned against the bleachers and watched the crowd, nodding to a few familiar faces. The world hadn’t ended, I hadn’t been struck down by lightning. I smiled, then laughed at how silly I’d been for being scared. This was no big deal.

“What’s funny?” Skylar asked as he appeared beside me, holding out a cup of soda.

“Nothing,” I said, taking a sip. “I, uh… Tracy came over. I… I told her I’m here with you.”

“Really. How’d she take it?”

“Surprisingly well. She seemed kinda bummed, but she didn’t get pissed or grossed out or anything.”

“Were you nervous?” Sky asked, leaning against the bleachers next to me.

“Fucking terrified,” I said after a moment. I felt his hand on mine and smiled. “But it was good. It is good. I’m glad.”

“Me too.” He smiled at me, then turned back to face the crowd, sipping his drink. “You know Taylor’s gonna hear all about it on Monday, right?”

“That’s Monday.”

“Okay,” Sky chuckled, finishing his soda and setting the cup down. “C’mon.” 

I put down my cup and let him drag me into the sea of dancing people. A slow song had just started, people pairing off. We found a space and stopped; I wasn’t sure how this would work, but he draped his arms over my shoulders and pulled me close. I put my hands on his hips and started to sway to the music, hoping he didn’t notice me shaking. Of course he did, but he just smiled and pulled me closer.

“Relax,” he whispered in my ear, and I nodded.

“I’m trying. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m not nervous too; you’re not the only one making a statement here.”

“I know. And… that’s okay, right?”

“Zac…” Sky stopped moving for a second and stared at me, one eyebrow up. Before I could even guess what he was planning, his lips were on mine. I sighed a little and held him tighter, and for a second I forgot we were surrounded by our classmates. When we parted his cheeks were a little pink, and he leaned his forehead on my shoulder. 

“Guess that answers that question,” I said, and he laughed and nodded.

Suddenly he noticed something behind me, and froze, his eyes going wide.

“Sky? What’s up?” 

He looked at me, then behind me again, and I felt a chill go down my spine. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. I had a feeling I knew what - or rather, who - was behind me. 

“Z-zac?”

I turned my head slowly, hoping, praying I was wrong. But of course not. I’ve never been that lucky.

“H-hey Tay.”


	11. Chapter 11

“So.”  Taylor stood there, staring at me and Sky.  Obviously he’d seen, and maybe even heard some of what we’d said.  I wasn’t sure how much, but it didn’t really matter.  He knew now.

“Hey Tay,” Sky said, looking more nervous than I’d ever seen him.  Taylor gave an awkward half-smile and nod, but his eyes never left mine.  I glanced around, and stepped away from Skylar.

“Outside?” I said, and he nodded.  I looked back at Sky, who gave a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand.  I took a breath and headed towards the exit, Taylor following close behind.  Taylor nodded towards the parking lot once we were outside, and I followed him to his car.  Instead of getting in he leaned against it, pulling his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket.  He stuck one between his lips, glanced at me, then offered me one.

“Thanks,” I said, and he nodded, lighting up and tossing me the lighter.  I leaned against the car next to him and for a couple minutes we just stood there smoking.

“I can’t say I’m all that surprised really,” he said finally.  “Or… well, I shouldn’t be.  I kinda am, but looking back, it makes sense.”

“I guess so.”  I took a long drag off my cigarette and watched him from the corner of my eye.  His face was scrunched in thought, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

“So… I mean, you said you liked Kat, so…”

“Yeah, and?”

“So you’re…”

“Equal opportunity?” I offered with a smirk, and he chuckled.  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“So you two… how long?”

“This is actually our first date,” I said, feeling my cheeks blush a little.  Taylor grinned slowly.

“That’s… really sweet.  I guess I just thought you’d already been together, just like, in secret or whatever.”

“Well we- um... might’ve been doing the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing for a while.  We never really thought about it like that though.”

“Uh huh,” Taylor said, smirking.  I rolled my eyes and finished my cigarette, flicking it away.

“You’re not gonna make this a big deal are you?  I kinda don’t wanna tell Mom and Dad.  Not yet.”

“I would never do that to you, or anyone,” Taylor said, putting a hand on my shoulder.  

“Yeah, I know.  Hence my royal fuck-up with Kat.”  I rolled my eyes, but smiled.  “Thanks, though.  I mean, I’ll tell them eventually, I just…”

“It should be on your own terms.  Trust me, if anyone understands, it’s me.”  He blinked, and looked embarrassed for a second, but I had no clue why.

“Right… Cuz you’re friends with Kat, right?”

“Y-yeah.  That’s it.”  He looked away and finished his own smoke quickly.  “Well I should let you get back to your date.  I just wanted to stop by and say hey to a few people.”

“Okay, yeah.  Oh, you might hear about me from a few people.  I kinda talked to that chick from the party, Tracy, and told her I’m with Sky.  So, I guess I’m… out, or whatever.”

“How’s it feel?”

“Pretty good, actually.  Not that different.”

Taylor looked at me for another moment, then nodded.  We headed back inside, and found Skylar leaning against the bleachers again.

“Don’t make me pull the protective big brother act,” Taylor said, laughing.  “I might not be a fighter, but I can get creative.”

“Yes sir,” Sky laughed, saluting.  Taylor nodded to him and me, then headed off to find his friends.

“So,” I said, letting out a breath.  “That just happened.”

“Sure did.  You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.  He was cool about it.  He’s not gonna tell our parents, he said he’ll let me do that when I’m ready.”

“That’s good.  I didn’t think he’d be the type to judge, but you never know.”

“Well he’s friends with Kat, so it’d be pretty shitty of him to dis his brother for the same thing.  And… okay I know this is gonna sound crazy, but sometimes…”

“What?”

“Nevermind,” I said, shaking my head.  “Wanna finish that dance now?”  I offered my hand and he took it, smiling at me.  Whatever was going on with Taylor was none of my business.  It was a little nerve-wracking having him know, but it was kind of freeing too.  I wouldn’t have to hide it, not all the time.  Not as much as I had before, not that I’d had as much to hide before.

“So, stupid question,” I said.

“From you?  No way,” Sky replied in a shocked tone and I pinched his side.

“But seriously.  So, we’re like… boyfriends?”  I could feel my cheeks burning, but I resisted the urge to look away.  Sky gave me the sweetest, most sincere smile I’d ever seen from him, and it made my chest ache in the best way.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Then we’re boyfriends.”

I let out a little sigh and pulled him closer, licking my lips in anticipation.  His eyes fluttered closed as I kissed him, and I felt his body relax against mine.  When we parted he leaned his head on my shoulder and I leaned my head on his as our bodies swayed to the music.  This was what happiness felt like, I knew it.  Nothing else mattered, not Taylor, not Kat, not Tracy, not our classmates or my parents or work or school or anything.  Just this moment, me and my boyfriend holding each other.

\----------

Sky and I laughed and leaned against each other as we walked up to his front door.  The dance had been a lot of fun, despite the Taylor hiccup.  We’d talked to a few people, danced, ate pizza and drank soda, applauded the predictable homecoming couples.  Enough people had seen us dancing - and kissing, though we kept that to a minimum - that I was sure the whole school would know by Monday at the latest.  It was done now, and there was no going back, not that either of us wanted to.

“So your parents are gone again?”

“Yeah, Dad had a good night at poker so they’re off to the casino for the weekend.  I think it’s their anniversary or something.”

“That’s cool.  You gonna take me someplace nice for our anniversary?”

“Hey, you’re the one with the job,” he said, laughing as he got the front door open.  We went up to his room and he closed the door.  

“So we’ve got the house to ourselves?”

“Yep.”  He grinned at me, and looked me up and down slowly.  He beckoned me closer and I stepped up to him, my hands on his hips and his on mine.  We stared at each other for a moment, and I could practically feel the intensity between us.  When we’d kissed before, it’d been sweet, romantic even.  But this was different.  I wanted him, and he wanted me, and we didn’t have to hide anymore.  We leaned in at the same time, kissing each other hard.  I gripped his sides and pulled him against me, and he wrapped his arms around my back.

“Sky,” I panted as we broke apart.  He leaned his head to the side to bite my neck, and I let out a low moan, my knees threatening to buckle.  He walked me backwards until my legs hit the bed, the two of us falling in a heap onto the mattress.  We pulled at each other’s clothes, laughing whenever one of us got stuck for a second.  Finally we lay there in just our boxers, our chests heaving and our hands shaking.  

“So if you’re my boyfriend,” he said, kissing my neck slowly, “does that mean I get to have this whenever I want?”  He ran a hand down my chest, gripping me firmly.  My back arched and I moaned loudly, nodding.

“Goes both ways though,” I said, reaching between us.  I leaned up to bite at his chest, making him gasp and rock his hips against mine.

“Sure does.”  He smiled down at me, and I pulled him down for a rough kiss.  Even though we’d done this before, something about it felt different.  Maybe it was because we were actually dating now, but I didn’t think that was exactly it.  But then it was hard to think about anything with his hands on me, driving me wild.  

“I wanna try something,” Sky whispered in my ear.  “Just let me know if you want me to stop, okay?”

“Yeah,” I panted, nodding.  He kissed a path down my chest, tugging my boxers off.  He licked his lips, then wrapped them around me. I moaned and tangled a hand in his hair, gripping a little.  He’d done this before, but I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of it.  I looked down when I felt his hands on my thighs, one of them inching lower.  He stared up at me as he slowly licked my length.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his fingertips brushing lower for a moment.  I nodded vigorously, beyond speech.  He pulled back and licked his finger slowly, a teasing grin on his lips.  I shook with anticipation as he lowered his hand again, his finger brushing against my opening.  I tensed up, and he stopped immediately.

“We don’t have to do this,” he said, but I shook my head.

“No, it’s okay.  Just a little nervous.  Don’t stop.”

“I’ll go slow.”  He leaned over me and kissed me, then crawled back down between my legs.  He stroked me slowly, his fingertip still pressed carefully between my legs.  He swirled his tongue around my tip as he slipped his finger in a tiny bit.  I drew in a sharp breath, but forced myself to relax.  His mouth wrapped around my dick was a good distraction, but I couldn’t help focusing on his finger slowly sliding deeper into me.  It felt weird, but good.  I gripped the sheet beneath me, my breathing ragged.  

“Fuck…”  I gasped as I felt him slide his finger all the way into me, until I could feel his hand pressed against my ass.  When he started to pull out I gasped again, my back arching.  

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just… fuck.  Feels good.”

“That’s the idea,” he chuckled.  He found a slow rhythm with his finger and his mouth, and I tossed my head back and forth.  I wanted to watch, but it was too much, and I had to close my eyes.  “You want more?”

“Fuck yes,” I gasped, and I heard him laugh again.  A moment later I felt a second finger pressing against me along with the first.  It hurt a little more and I winced, but before long it felt even better.  “Shit Sky, I’m close…”

“Good.”  He replaced his mouth with his other hand, and leaned up to kiss me hard.  I held him tight, grinding against him and whimpering.  I probably sounded pathetic, but I was too far gone to care.  “Come for me, Zac,” he whispered in my ear, and that was it.

“Sky!”  I cried out, my body twitching as I came.  

\-------------------

I woke up the the sound of a door slamming downstairs.  I sat up in bed and looked around.  Sky was sitting in his open window, one leg dangling outside, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips.  His eyes were closed and his head was leaned back against the frame.  He opened them a sliver to look at me, then closed them again.

I heard voices from downstairs, Sky's parents.  They were yelling about something, their voices rising and falling.  I winced at the sound of something breaking, but Skylar didn't flinch.  He took a long drag from his cigarette, his shoulders dropping as he exhaled.

"Dad must've struck out," he said quietly.  "And then some, from the sound of it.  At least he didn't lose the car this time."

Another crash sounded from downstairs, followed by what sounded like a slap.  I jumped at the sharp noise, and got out of bed.  It wasn't the first time I'd heard his parents fighting, but it wasn't usually this bad.  At least, I hadn't thought so, but Sky's lack of reaction said otherwise.

"It'll be over soon," he said, flicking his cigarette out the window.  There was another crash, this time sounding like glass shattering.  A door slammed hard enough to rattle the entire house, and a minute later a car revved up and tore out of the driveway.  

"Let's go back to bed," Sky sighed, getting up.  We laid down and he pulled me against him, my back to his chest.  He trailed his fingers up and down my arm in a soothing way, and I felt myself starting to drift back to sleep.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.  I felt him nod, his nose brushing against the side of my neck.

"Not your fault.  They've always been like this.  He gambles, she drinks; they're both fuck-ups."

"They don't... like, they leave you alone, though.  Right?"

"Yeah.  They leave me alone."  

I rolled over and wrapped my arms around him, and kissed him.  He held me tight, so tight it almost hurt.  But if it made him feel better, I'd gladly let him squeeze me til my bones broke.  I hated the thought of him being stuck there, having to deal with that every day.  I wished I could do something to help, but I had no idea what.

"Someday I'm gonna get out of here," he said.  "Just pack my shit and go, and never look back."

"You'll take me with you though, right?"  

He opened his eyes and looked at me, and for a second I thought he was going to cry.  But he just smiled and nodded.

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Good."

Beneath us, I could hear broken pieces of something being gathered up and thrown away.  I held Sky tight, and made a promise never to let him go.


End file.
